The Impostor


the gift that keeps on giving.

Erma Bombeck


Boo–Happy Halloween to you!  In the Women’s section of Huffington Post, an article about men, women and success claims that the Millenial woman is the first generation to describe herself ambitious.  Yet, does self-doubt plague men as it does women in their striving for success?  A few tricks and treats from Gail Evans’ Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman:  
The impostor syndrome causes us to lie in constant fear that we will be discovered, that our inadequacies will be exposed, and that we will be humiliated, demoted, dismissed.  Women who suffer from the impostor syndrome frequently expend as much energy trying to figure out how to survive their presumed unmasking as they expend doing the actual job.
The truth is, we are all impostors.  Each and every one of us, men and women alike.  None of us has a grasp on all the facts.  Think about it.  Does any one of us truly know everything there is to know about raising kids? No. But that doesn’t stop us from doing it, or from doing it very well.
There isn’t one of us who can honestly say that (s)he knows everything there is to know about the job, or who can’t be caught off guard, or who couldn’t be replaced one day by someone more talented.  And believe me, the same is true of all of your bosses.
Men fake it whenever and wherever they have to.  They wear their game face and go from one place to the next, gathering as much information as they can.  Even when the odds are against them, they still try to look as if they’re going to win. The closer they move to the top in business, the more they rely on improvisation, self-confidence, and the generalized ability to draw on past experience rather than book knowledge.
When you are doing something new, there is no safety net.  That is nerve wracking.  That is also how creative ideas are advanced.  You can admit, “I’m in new territory, but I wouldn’t be here if I weren’t competent.  Instead of focusing on what I don’t know, I’ll focus on what I know and learn the rest as I go along.” Confidence is half of the game.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share how a mask frees you (or not.)


© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

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Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mountain
    Nov 03, 2013 @ 10:00:29

    Confidence is such a big part of success. My youngest daughter stresses as she is about to start a new job. I tell her go in with confidence and the rest will come. There has been a few times in my working life that I was given a chance to move up. Would I be able to answer the call? Of course! Even my latest position required me to take on the faltering task from my predecessor. Guess what?; success!, because I knew I could. Funny thing this time I did it without a woman to help, but I know it would be even better if there were one. I’ve been fortunate to have worked alongside some women that helped make us successful. I love to work with women. I don’t say that because women look pretty and smell good I say it because women are dedicated, focused and bring balance and knowledge to a team. Thank you to the women that have helped me and been successful as well along the way. My mask is off to you.



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