Guilt:
the gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck
Boo–Happy Halloween to you! In the Women’s section of Huffington Post, an article about men, women and success claims that the Millenial woman is the first generation to describe herself ambitious. Yet, does self-doubt plague men as it does women in their striving for success? A few tricks and treats from Gail Evans’ Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman:
The impostor syndrome causes us to lie in constant fear that we will be discovered, that our inadequacies will be exposed, and that we will be humiliated, demoted, dismissed. Women who suffer from the impostor syndrome frequently expend as much energy trying to figure out how to survive their presumed unmasking as they expend doing the actual job.
The truth is, we are all impostors. Each and every one of us, men and women alike. None of us has a grasp on all the facts. Think about it. Does any one of us truly know everything there is to know about raising kids? No. But that doesn’t stop us from doing it, or from doing it very well.
There isn’t one of us who can honestly say that (s)he knows everything there is to know about the job, or who can’t be caught off guard, or who couldn’t be replaced one day by someone more talented. And believe me, the same is true of all of your bosses.
Men fake it whenever and wherever they have to. They wear their game face and go from one place to the next, gathering as much information as they can. Even when the odds are against them, they still try to look as if they’re going to win. The closer they move to the top in business, the more they rely on improvisation, self-confidence, and the generalized ability to draw on past experience rather than book knowledge.
When you are doing something new, there is no safety net. That is nerve wracking. That is also how creative ideas are advanced. You can admit, “I’m in new territory, but I wouldn’t be here if I weren’t competent. Instead of focusing on what I don’t know, I’ll focus on what I know and learn the rest as I go along.” Confidence is half of the game.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share how a mask frees you (or not.)
xoxox
© Sharon Birke
201 697 1947
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