Fathers On Love

 

Learn from other people’s mistakes.

We will never live long enough

to make them all on our own.

from “Human Engineering” by Harry Myers and Mason M. Roberts

 

Happy Father’s Day!  Llittle Daddy’s girls grow up too quickly into gorgeous women!  What life experience would you pass on to our daughters as wisdom on men and relationships?

Prince Charming is not coming.  Do you really want to get involved with a dashing self-absorbed Mama’s boy who’s obsessed with slaying dragons and chasing damsels in distress?  This can only mean he’s unemployed and is on serious medication to believe dragons exist. You won’t be the first nor last damsel in distress he’ll want to rescue and his thirst for constant adventure won’t make him a happy helper with the kids at home. There is a price to pay for everything so clarify the manly qualities that are most important to you, as well as your deal breakers.

Handle your own money. Set up your bank accounts so an automatic percentage for every dollar you earn goes to a savings account that grows.  No matter how attractive credit card companies make the terms of their little plastics, do not spend more than what you have.  Most importantly, avoid marrying other people’s debts and drama.

Be happy alone. Whether in a relationship or not, keep time alone sacred and romance yourself each week to enjoy your own company. Even when demanding children start popping into the scene, your primary relationship should always be with yourself.

Great sex ain’t good enough.  A relationship needs conversation, laughter and shared values to make it through tough times. Before those sex hormones cloud your thinking–making you obsessive and attached–establish ties that bind common interests outside the bedroom.

Actions speak louder.  Falling in love is delusional. When we’re interested in someone, we will interpret other people’s words to skew for intent. If his actions don’t back up what he says, learn from Ariana Grande: Next!

Something is not always better than nothing.  How does he make your life better? If you know he’s not good enough, but he’s the only one who has asked you out in awhile, don’t waste your time nor his. Both of you are better off asking other people out whom you may be better matched. Don’t be lazy.

Keep your relationships rich and varied. Many women brush off girlfriends in the thrill of being a couple.  Rookie mistake!  Maintain breathing room to acknowledge your individuality and he will appreciate your confidence in giving him time to himself and to hang with his boys. Value each other’s disparate experiences and influences that you bring to the table. At the very least, make sure you like his friends and family because you’ll be spending time a lot of time with them, too.

Your sad story is boring. Whatever and whoever shows up in our lives are meant to draw out qualities like wisdom, strength and courage. Find the gift of a breakup, never abandon yourself, and move forward in life with greater self-compassion and understanding. There is never a wasted experience and there is no dignity in being identified as victim forever.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share wisdom from your dad or your own, if you’re a dad yourself. You’re too lucky to be loved by many divine Goddesses!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

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© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Irving’s Woman

 

Clothes make the man.

Naked people have little or

no influence on society.

Mark Twain

 

Irving Penn and Lisa Fonssagrives

 

The month’s iconic birthday boy is Irving Penn, born June 16, 1917.  He spent 66 of his 92 years at Vogue, creating an unprecedented 165 covers—more than any other photographer in its history.  He is remembered for luminous couture compositions shot in natural light as much as his portraits that seemed to reveal hidden selves of sitters from famous celebrities, indigenous folks and people next door, to local tradesmen. For his iconic backdrops, he worked with a discarded theatrical curtain in the studio and random scenes around the streets of Paris.

It was at Vogue’s historic shoot of the Twelve Beauties, the first group portrait of the popular models of the era, that he met the fabulous woman considered to be the original supermodel who eventually became his wife and muse for 42 years, Lisa Fonssagrives. How can a woman resist a man who chooses her over several other lovelies?

What is most remarkable about this artist famous for his fashion portraits is that he didn’t even like fashion. He wanted to be a painter but when that didn’t pan out, his friend hired him to work at Vogue’s art department. When the reigning Vogue photographers of the time could not deliver the modern look that he sought to give the magazine a fresh look for the next generation of women, he picked up the camera himself, diligently applying his technical and artistic skills to successfully deliver his aesthetic. Aside from paid assignments, he constantly pursued his own personal projects shooting flowers, still life, etc. This is an essential practice to consider when we feel stuck and uninspired. Very useful, too, for those who are confused and made lame by the pandering philosophy of “follow your passion” when there’s no obvious passion in plain sight.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you keep your heart’s fire burning.

xoxox

All photos on this page are from Google Images.

Twelve Beauties, Vogue 1947

 

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

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© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bride and Prejudice

 

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

A second marriage is the triumph

of hope over experience.

Oscar Wilde

 

 

Here come the brides in June! Americans are still married to monogamy even as online dating provides ever widening options to make exploring our curiosities outside it easier. In 2016, a survey found that 48 percent of men and 31 percent of women said that their ideal relationship would be nonexclusive to some degree. Esther Perel‘s TED talk Rethinking Infidelity has racked up 7.5 million views on Youtube, making someone who preaches forgiveness a star.

As modern as we would like to believe our society to be, the stigma on affairs still provides prime fodder for tabloids and personal choices continue to cast a long shadow on professional lives.  Why do we feel entitled to judge other people’s (sex) lives and choices–as if we can know what they’re going through, as if we’ll ever have the chance to walk in their shoes?

Recognizing our innate desire to duplicate the devotion of parental love in our spouse, would you be capable of prioritizing your primary relationship if you were allowed adventures outside the marriage?  Would you rather have shallow relationships with many partners or do you want the pleasure of the long game and a shared history in getting to know someone deeply and profoundly? However you choose to make up your mind along the way, how can we remember that marriage is different for each participant? Because to speak frankly, what came first: marriage and monogamy or our very human nature that continually seeks novelty and variety?

More than separate checking accounts or the option to sleep in separate beds, the biggest challenge of a long term relationship is our tendency to believe we own our spouse even as we take them for granted. Relationship takes work and plenty of tending, an often tested commitment to see the best in the other while requiring us to dig deep into our ability to provide a safe space for each to grow in whatever way he/she requires as an evolving soul.

Everyone else outside such relationship must have more important things to do like mind their own business.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what marriage means to you.

xoxox

 

 

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Glam of Thrones

 

Women should look good. Work on yourselves.

Education? I spit on education.

No man is ever going to put his hand

up your dress looking for a library card.

Joan Rivers

 

Now that Game of Thrones has run its course, I’ll have to find something else to keep a conversation going with my sons who live away from home. Gore and incest aside, what I enjoyed best in this series was the craftsmanship of the artisans behind the props and costumes and the strength of the women who held their own in a cast often outnumbered by men. Looking back on the countless costumes of the lead characters, nobody outdressed the most fashionable Mother of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen, after she is resurrected from her husband’s funeral pyre wearing nothing but three baby dragons.

In Qarth, she wears the prettiest gowns among its creepy, albeit stylish, citizens.

This dress was a way to tell the smitten Jorah that she had slept with Daario.  The cutouts fit effortlessly, yet can you imagine the precision required for its tailoring?

She rules over a very dusty region wearing queenly white, cream, and dove gray dresses in the cross-neck halter style.

In another season, her style evolves to V-neck gowns fastened at the top–very revealing until the last minute that it decides it’s not. She is attractive and appealing while remaining in control.

Her white striped fur coat was both romantic and practical for riding dragons. There’s elegant detail in its cuts with even more remarkable drama on its back.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your favorite fantasy costume.

All photos on this page from Google Images.

xoxox

 

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spring Blooms for Mom

 

Mothers remain a convenient missing link

in the germ theory.

If it is not viral or bacterial, it must be maternal.

Janna Malamud Smith

This Powerful Goddess dedicates her portraits to the mother she almost missed knowing, losing her to illness at a very young age. While many of us have been blessed with more years to enjoy ours, others spend a lifetime wondering why they didn’t get so lucky. Excerpts from There’s Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber:

Many adults keep waiting for their parents to parent them.  “I want my mother to love me.  I want my father to give me what I need.”  The odds are very good that’s not going to happen.  If your parents could love you the way you want to be loved, it already would have happened.

Only you know how you want and need to be loved.  Only you can love you the way you want and need to be loved.  If you can’t or won’t give yourself what you need, how do you suppose someone else, who isn’t nearly so motivated, is going to provide it for you?

Almost nobody wants to grow up.  It’s too hard.  It’s easier to focus on what’s wrong with us and why we can’t do anything about it.  Taking care of ourselves means giving up our wish to be taken care of by someone else.

“I want my mother to do it.  She should have done it but she didn’t.  I’m going to stay stuck right here until…”  Until what?  Until she does it?  But she can’t do it.  And she never could.  Consider this:  If we can’t do it, how could somebody else have done it?

Living from compassion for ourselves gives us the loving parent we’ve always wanted. Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you’ve been mothered best. Enjoy!

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

Everything Frida

 

Nothing is worth more than laughter.

It is strength to laugh

and abandon oneself.

Frida Kahlo

 

The portraits on my previous blog post was inspired by the iconic Frida Kahlo (1907-1954), the precursor of the “selfie.” Frida was a passionate, multi-faceted Mexican artist known for her self-portraits as for the flowers she wore over her unibrow.  She was extraordinary in her triumph over physical deformity and channeled her creativity–even as she was bedridden–through paintings, journals and her self-styled dress. Despite her humble beginnings, Frida Kahlo claimed fame as a talented artist with her own unique vision that could not be ignored despite her diminutive frame and name beside her literally larger than life husband.

The Diary of Friday Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait by Carlos Fuentes

This book includes Frida’s journals written in her own script with brightly colored watercolor illustrations and sketches from the last decade of her life, her thoughts, poems, dreams reflecting her stormy relationship with her husband, Diego Rivera, Mexico’s famous artist.

Not to be a tease (though I do love being one,) the Brooklyn Museum’s Frida Kahlo: Appearances Can Be Deceiving retrospective closes this Mother’s Day, May 12, 2019.  Since tickets are all sold out to this show, here’s a book that may make up for what you may have missed.

Making Herself Up by Claire Wilcox

On Kahlo’s death, her husband, Diego Rivera (1886–1957), ordered that her most private possessions be locked away until 15 years after his death. The bathroom in which her belongings were stored in fact remained unopened until 2004. This book serves as an archive, giving readers a unique window into Kahlo’s life. It features personal items from her prosthetics, jewelry, and clothes with self-portraits, diary entries, and letters, building an intimate portrait of the artist through her possessions in the context of her political and social beliefs.

Frida the 2002 film was nominated for 6 Academy Awards, stars Selma Hayek and Alfred Molina as Diego Rivera, Frida’s mentor and husband.

Help save the planet with this unique and artsy re-usable tote or gift bag from Etsy by ArtByMia.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what you love about your favorite artist.

xoxox

 

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

Birds and Bees

 

The only time a woman

has a true orgasm

is when she’s shopping.

Joan Rivers

 

It is magical how spring blooms suddenly take over the landscape and just like that, nature is in the mood to frolic and play! With flowers come the fluttering of birds and bees, bringing to mind how we might send off our young adults out into the world with eyes wide open to the politics of sex, that they may choose to take charge of their sexual experiences instead of being hapless victims.

Each of these musings could use a blog post all its own, but for now, feel free to add your wisdom on what we can pass on to those who are learning to make personal choices as they navigate their way and bloom into their own powerful radiance.

Be fully present. You want a partner who is willing to care about your pleasure and satisfaction, not just his own. Druggies and drunks can’t possibly make great lovers with their impaired motor skills, plus such indulgences are just the tip of the iceberg masking personal baggage you don’t need to complicate your life. Choose quality people to allow into your bed. Make contraception and personal safety your business to minimize exposure to violence, recrimination and the basic humiliation of zero recognition the morning after.

Dress the way you want to be treated. It is fascinating how sexy need not be trashy nor reveal much skin. While we are fortunate to live in a country where women are free to dress as we feel like, let us not be hypocrites and insist on being treated with respect when we wear provocative outfits. When traveling to cultures different from our own, do your best to dress like a local.

Respect those hormones. Sex education cannot be left to schools, the internet and their peers where the focus is superficial on body parts and mechanics. They skirt essential topics of human relationships, how hormones rule emotions and logic–and I’m not even talking about sex drive. Sex is a trigger to a hormonal domino effect on our biology and psychology which results in obsession and attachment to possible extreme “Fatal Attraction” crimes of passion. While there are means of protecting ourselves from STDs and pregnancy, there is no disconnecting the sex organ from the heart and ego.

There is no dignity in being victim. Our world is an animal kingdom with predators of all kinds, using power or weakness to wedge their way into our heart and/or pants. That is their job and overt predators aren’t even the worst! There are seasoned and very smooth operators who play the long game, earning your trust, pity and respect first. Their sob stories will be irresistible to your Inner Hero but do remember not all who appear to need rescue, want to be rescued and they will drag you down with their drama. Natural instincts are our best guide in sniffing people out. Keep your faculties sharp with clean living and pay attention to your emotions, both “good” and “bad”  for they are the means by which your soul and body communicate.  I know, I know–how will our economy survive if we all got smart and shunned medication and alcohol completely?!

Novels and movies lie. Don’t you just love those hot scenes of simultaneous and instantaneous orgasms? Makes most everyone feel like there must be something wrong with them or that, at least, they’re missing out on something. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski PhD is a reassuring voice letting us know that “normal” is highly personal. There’s nothing wrong if you can’t get wet, can’t orgasm with someone, or have to teach your partner how you want to be touched.

Let’s embrace and make the most of what we’ve got, recognizing that we are uniquely perfect in every other aspect of ourselves as we bloom and grow in this journey of life. Let it not be said nobody told you sex and power are currencies. Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you use them wisely.

xoxox

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

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