My Grandma’s Life In Five Objects

 

Grandparents are intended

to help a child get into mischief

that she couldn’t have thought of on her own.

Gene Perret

 

 

September is the birthday month of my maternal grandmother to whom I owe much of my sense of style and expansive range of talents. She loomed large as family matriarch and when I think of home, I think of her busy, extended household full of aunts, uncles, cousins, house help and a revolving door of pets. The woman I’ve become and how I relate to the world are born from watching her be or not be, from marveling at her idiosyncrasies and ironies, from hearing my mom and aunts gauge their choices by “What would Mama think?”  We shared the love of constant learning, of evolving artistic expression from the sartorial to the mundane, as well as an affinity for collecting beautiful objects. She kept her best under lock and key, displayed behind glass panels as curiosities, while mine have to double duty as pretty and functional that must survive good, if not daily, use.  To this day, objects are how I remember people, places and events that have generously blessed me, given as gifts or as conjurors of memory, remembrances of who and what helped shape the person I’ve become.

Before I left for college, she couldn’t wait to tweeze my eyebrows and share her makeup palette, teaching me the art of making almond eyes appear wider with at least four shades of eye makeup that became my daily uniform. Who would recognize me now that motherhood had made me surrender the good fight?  My grandma loved red lipstick while her more conservative sisters wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing anything racier than pink.  With masks required at public venues these days, making lipsticks go wasted on covered lips, I wear my Very Prive Louboutin (above) as a pendant instead.

 

A Purse Gone Fishing

My absolute favorite from Grandma is this fish purse that was her souvenir from a trip to Japan before my own parents met. I can imagine the excitement that pulsed through her house as she and her husband planned their first major flight out of their home islands. I don’t know how I got to be the lucky keeper of this treasure considering I have a sister, aunts and a slew of girl cousins.  But I can’t think of anyone else who would have enjoyed it as much as I do. For better or worse–because plastic never dies–this purse looks as new today as it must have been when she first spied it at a shop window in Shibuya or Shinjuku.  As she wandered those streets, did she imagine that one day, her first granddaughter–who, at that time, was yet a mere twinkle in her eye–might birth her a greatgrandson in that country?  This fish purse perfectly melds our love of travel and irrepressible sense of humor, ever ready to share a clever anecdote or joke, usually with a poker face (as any sensible fish would.)

 

 

To Bed, To Bed

My fun fashion flair and insistence on dressing better when everyone else is wearing ripped jeans definitely comes from Grandma’s genes. Though there are limits to the heights I’d willingly suffer. Before COVID-19, I used to tease that women endure enough pain already without our toes needing to get pinched into stilettos, that 4-inch heels should only be worn to bed.  Now that dress up parties and gatherings are few, the bed has proven to be my Private Number Louboutin’s most dependable destination indeed.

 

 

All That Glitters For No Occasion

To whoever decreed “Don’t eat after 6:00 pm,” I have only one question: Why not?!  This may make sense for Early Birds, but someone must speak up for the night owls of this planet!  When my Empty Nest is quiet late at night, I think of those just-the-two-of-us moments with my grandma, rare in her full house, silent except for the crack and crunch of freshly carved watermelon, punctuated by the less than discreet spit of seeds in those long forgotten days before the needless invention of all things seedless. Other nights might be the season for mangoes and more exotic tropical fruits, cookies or a sandwich with the slurp of hot cocoa or milk coffee as our midnight snack. I have since been converted to the rituals of tea because there’s such an irresistible selection of adorable cups and teapots, satisfactions you just can’t get from a coffeemaker.  No good reason to save glittery things for special occasions that may never come either so I delight in feasting like royalty during the day or when I’m burning the midnight candle alone in pajamas. As Virginia Woolf put it: One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. And I always, always feed my eyes first.

 

 

One Pet, No Pets

Despite growing up with my grandmother’s ever changing menagerie of pets from goldfish, to turtles, parakeets to chicks that grew into chicken soup for lunch, dogs from chihuahuas to poodles, etc, I never felt the desire to own a pet myself. I was clear about wanting children though, and when they begged me for a pet, I assured them most confidently they can have all the dogs and cats they wanted when they got their own apartments. Somehow my daughter succeeded in persuading me to compromise with a rabbit when her brothers flew the nest, but very soon after, her attention drifted to boys and friends and the rabbit got relegated as her dad’s bestie. He’s great company for me now that she’s left home, tirelessly staring with adoring eyes much of the day and happy to cuddle at night.  You know I mean the rabbit, not the husband, right? 😉

 

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what makes you smile when you think about your grandmother(s).

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

Peace and Party At The Farm

 

All animals are equal,

but some animals are

more equal than others.

George Orwell

 

 

Now that travel to other continents is not feasible for many of us in 2020, I’ve had to re-consider my aversion to long drives (ie, anything beyond 7 minutes) and to explore the joys of what’s within driving distance.  Two hours from Manhattan is the Peaceful Windhorse Farm, an idyllic party venue for those with the “return to nature” sensibility or those who want relief from all this isolation and regroup under open sky. When public transit comes back in style, the Metro North is another romantic way to get there as you soak in the zen Hudson River views along the way.

The farm’s gracious overseer guided me on a tour of its 108 acres with her handy plant ID app. That afternoon, she discovered that the wide variety of foliage on her land included a liberal sprinkling of olive trees and bushes which could be fruitful if warm weather were more fashionable year round in the Northeast.

We meandered over grassy pathways through woods and prairies that have hosted memorable candlelit parties on long dinner tables under the stars, gatherings around breathtaking bonfires, happy hour on a hill at sunset with a bartender or two possibly serving drinks from a rustic hunter’s hideout.  Its main house has a pool that can host a family for the summer.  Its expansive barn has been converted into a spacious event space for weddings or family reunions. Guests are thrilled to pet and feed the Noah’s ark stable of local residents:  2 enormous pigs, 2 handsome goats, 2 bucolic horses, 2 sheepish (I couldn’t help this!) sheep. There may have been more than 2 chickens, but we all know extra eggs always come in handy.

After harvesting the mulberry tree as far as our fingers could reach and a few futile attempts at convincing the goats and pigs they’ve had enough feasting underneath it, we sat for a picturesque dinner overlooking the pond. To my hostess’ delight, what appeared to be a little rock tucked next to the candle on the table was a live frog. She let her ravioli get cold as she excitedly searched for and downloaded the Frog ID app, determined to identify the species of this Frog Prince before we deemed it worthy of a kiss. She snapped the frog’s photo and we held our breaths while the app searched its data base. We waited… and waited some more… until, at last, the app made up its mind. This creature, the app decreed most assuredly, was a mushroom.

For inquiries on hosting your next memorable party event or family reunion at Peaceful Windhorse Farm, contact ‭(212) 807-9642‬. And enjoy making the best of this summer of our new normal!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

Angel In The House

 

Angels can fly

because they

take themselves lightly.

GK Chesterton

 

 

With so much restless energy long confined, frustration high in the face of 24/7 togetherness and unemployment, school/work from home has been a test on everyone’s patience and sanity, especially for those living in tight quarters or in abusive relationships, and even those who aren’t. With its incessant imposition on the benevolence and diplomacy of the women who run the home, how much longer can we hang on to our wings and halo when we’d rather shrug them off and go on a free fall from grace?

Victorians fondly referred to wives as their Angels in the House, the women who handled all responsibilities that get in the way of a man’s need to focus on his work and personal pursuits.  Twentieth century progress has multiplied that load requiring a woman to prove herself capable of a career of her own while continuing to cover all the domestic bases. She has to tread lightly despite frayed nerves, be tactful around other household members who prefer to remain innocent of chores required to run it.  She is somehow expected to maintain her gentle charm and sex appeal despite the constant exhaustion.

COVID casualties, street riots and black lives protests captivate concern on a global scale. Underneath it all, an even larger but ignored statistic bears the brunt of 24/7 duty, short fuses and stubborn wills on the domestic front.  Who looks out for the well-being of the woman whose capacities are continually stretched in all directions with no reprieve?  How are we to maintain our sanity, never mind the good looks?  Who cares to lighten the load for the tired angel in their house?

In behalf of all the wives and mothers, I send out this universal plea for extra affection, consideration and indulgence when the people we live with find us prickly, bitchy, and positively devilish.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you keep your angel wings and benevolent smile firmly glued on for a Happy Father’s Day!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

Making Mother Happy

 

There are three ways to get something done:

do it yourself, hire someone to do it,

or ask your kids NOT to do it.

Malcolm Kushner

 

 

“It’s for Mother’s Day!” I hollered in exasperation.  To cajole those who believe themselves too busy and too cool for school, I’ve had to use all possible enticements from “This won’t take long” to the more pointed “I wouldn’t even ask you to be in the picture if you weren’t family!”  By the time I’ve convinced the last of them to agree to coordinate calendars, wear similar outfits, deafen my ears to the manly banter while they bicker about who gets to wear which pants or shoes, plus persuade the one who loves ankle socks to part with them just for this occasion, my well of charm and patience has gotten thoroughly dried out. And this is all before I’ve set up equipment!  Don’t ask how I manage to smile in front of the camera after what goes on behind it–herding cows may be far easier.

My Inner Eternal Optimist is consoled by the thought that three agreeable ones out of five is not so bad for a family average. That with our eldest packed to venture out of lockdown and leave for his first full-time job out of college while the younger ones look forward to summer jobs elsewhere,  each day of being ignored in favor of their devices is mere training for the return to Empty Nest. So I grin and bear it, prevailing over any and all objections, aware that none of us can really know when we’ll have more of these special moments to take each other for granted again.

I dedicate this time capsule to my future grandchildren. When their parents ask them to gather for a family photo shoot, may they dutifully take revenge on my behalf.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you’re making your Mother’s Day happy.  Keep smiling!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

The Young and The Restless

 

In lieu of shaking hands and hugs,

you may simply kneel, bow or curtsy to me

at a safe distance.

Anonymous (who is usually a woman)

 

 

My 21 years old is certain that this lockdown has got to be every mother’s dream with the family gathered at home, having nowhere to go and no friends to visit. He has no clue how Empty Nest had been not unlike heaven for me!

If we must lead this virtual Amish lifestyle until who knows when, leaving us with few options, how shall we keep from spiraling into darkness and despair?  How do we remember to consider ourselves fortunate that we can still take strolls to enjoy the Spring blooms, how we are lucky if we have no greater worries than enduring boredom, the torment of what to cook next, and the anguish of wearing masks and gloves that don’t match? Goddess knows many have more serious cares and there shall be more concerns not yet apparent.

As we struggle with feelings of fear and helplessness, let us count the ways how this unexpected pause might be just what we need, taking comfort in this excerpt from Pema Chodron‘s When Things Fall Apart:

Underneath our ordinary lives, underneath all the talking we do, all the moving we do, all the thoughts in our minds, there’s a fundamental groundlessness. It’s there bubbling along all the time. we experience it as restlessness and edginess. We experience it as fear. It motivates passion, aggression, ignorance, jealousy, and pride, but we never get down to the essence of it.

Refraining is the method for getting to know the nature of this restlessness and fear. It’s a method for settling into groundlessness. If we immediately entertain ourselves by talking, by acting, by thinking–if there’s never any pause–we will never be able to relax. We will always be speeding through our lives. We’ll always be stuck with what my grandfather called a good case of the jitters. Refraining is a way of making friends with ourselves at the most profound level possible. We can begin to relate with what’s underneath, all the stuff that comes out and expresses itself as controlling, manipulative behavior, or whatever it is. Underneath all that fear and edginess, there’s something very soft, very tender.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your new discoveries while home bound. Be gentle with yourself and no matter what happens next, keep finding the good, the possible and the funny right where we are, one day at a time.

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

How To Be Zoom Ready

 

The best thing about telecommuting is

not having to dress for work–

And nobody has to know if you’re naked below the waist.

Anonymous

 

 

Now that we can live 24/7 in pajamas for the duration of this enforced lock down, all we need is one well pressed shirt for meetings and interviews on the Zoom App. To maintain professionalism, you want your viewer(s) to focus on what you have to say and avoid distracting them with what’s going on behind you.  Here are some handy tips to look your best on video:

Room Set Up  Pick a room with a door that you can lock so kids and pets can’t run in while you’re in the middle of a meeting.  You want a plain blank wall as background and a firm chair that encourages you to sit tall without swiveling/rocking–not the comfy sofa, your favorite armchair, and certainly not the bed. Remove wall decor, picture frames, plants, and close any door (closet/bathroom) that may be visible to your audience.

 

 

Camera Setup  Raise the camera of your laptop/smartphone to the level of your eyes or higher so you look alert and awake. In the picture below, leaving your laptop/camera at a low angle is not flattering at all–unless you have a particular fondness for your double chin. Either lower your seat or use a stack of books (or a box) to get the camera to a height that allows your face and neck to fill the screen, leaving about an inch above the top of your head and a couple of inches below the shoulder line. Have your pens and reference documents within reach. To avoid spills on devices and paperwork, keep your beverage in a covered cup or bottle.

 

 

Lighting  Face a window to give your face the best natural light during the day. In the absence of a window or for evening meetings, set up a small video light, a ring light or switch the light bulb of your desk lamp to a 40 watt daylight bulb.  If your light source cannot be dimmed to your liking, adjust brightness by moving it nearer/farther away or move it to your side instead of straight on to your face.

 

Ring Light with smartphone holder

 

What to wear  A plain V neck shirt with long sleeves always looks respectable. Choose the color of your top to contrast with the wall behind you. A black shirt on a black background will give the spooky effect of a floating head. Have a jacket handy in case you feel chilly in the middle of an extended discussion.  If you wear eyeglasses, make sure they are non-reflective.

All photos above from Google Images. This is my simple lighting setup with a desk lamp.

Click on “Leave a comment” (top left) to share how you keep your focus on the good stuff no matter what. (All photos on this page from Google Images.)

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

The Woman With Many Plans

 

It’s better to be interesting

than

to be beautiful.

Maye Musk

 

Reading A Woman Makes A Plan: Advice for a Lifetime of Adventure, Beauty and Success by Maye Musk kept me awake past my bedtime in admiration of this indomitable spirit.  She’s the woman I want to be when I grow up!  When we see women all dolled up, it’s easy to tell ourselves that she probably hasn’t been through the hardships we’ve had. Not so! Making a fresh start–often from scratch–and moving to nine cities in three countries over her adult life, Maye has had to pick herself up one extra time after circumstances had pushed her down yet again, holding her head high with positive attitude and the willingness to do whatever it takes to show up and make the best of whatever cards life dealt her.

She speaks of her parents who set the example of “Live dangerously–carefully.”  Her mother was another incredible woman who packed up five young kids with all their food/water supply to survive three weeks of driving in the African desert–their family adventure for eight summers. She reinvented herself as a prolific artist in her 60s to 80s after her beloved husband’s tragic death; then learned to make art on the computer at 94.  This reminds me to keep stepping forward in life with grace, to always embrace the new, and to be supportive of the decisions my young adults make for themselves.

At 71, Maye continues to make plans, sharing her accumulated wisdom from motherhood, modeling, and her other lifelong profession, nutrition. She explains her sensible guide to eating based on small healthy snacks/meals when you’re hungry so as not to stress your body with starvation. Plan ahead what to keep in your fridge and your day bag and be kind to ourselves on occasional indulgences, never punishing nor going to extremes with severe restrictions that are impossible to maintain. Best of all, pay attention to our feelings that goad us to eat mindlessly and understand what changes we need to make.

I want to be surrounded by people like her who don’t complain nor obsess about looks, who are unafraid of aging and wearing silver hair, people who keep themselves engaged doing interesting things and giving their best for the people they love and work with. I want to look to the future with enthusiasm, always eager to learn and have fun no matter what shows up and despite severe pain, setbacks and heartache.  I’m not planning on Mars so I’m thankful for the inspiration of your beautiful light on this earth, Maye!

Click on “Leave a comment” (top left) to share what you love about the woman you want to be when you grow up. (All photos on this page from Google Images.)

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

I’d Rather Be Reading

 

 

Some of my best ideas

are born

of envy.

Anne Bogel

 

 

To welcome Women’s HERstory Month, a very small book “I’d Rather Be Reading” by Anne Bogel, speaks volumes of my feelings, dilemmas and longings as a devoted reader, nerd, and bookworm. It called attention to how my enthusiasm for a book might be a literary sin, perceived as book bossiness by others. It explained why I covet bookshelves of old grand libraries more than shoe closet space. Best of all, it underlined my desire for a circle of fellow book lovers, or at least a book twin, who can sift through the thousands published weekly and streamline my never ending queue of what to read next. All this while suggesting a good chunk of book titles I’m compelled to look up.

I can trace events and milestones in my life from the list of books I’ve bought or checked out of the library. My bookshelf has a collection that includes what I’ve received as gifts, what I’ve loved, as well as what patiently awaits attention.  A recurring fantasy is to find the list of all the books I’ve read since I was introduced to this great pleasure in fourth grade by another change of schools that surrounded me with classmates who loved to read, immersed daily in the adventures of Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. This reading list would reveal how I started off reading what friends and my favorite aunt enjoyed, what schools and colleges required, until I began to define my own reading path. This list would map the splayed trajectory of my learning, career explorations and personal growth aspirations; the countries I wanted to or eventually visited; the romance and lifestyle I longed for; the parenting advice I sought; the books I read to keep the conversation going with our young adults who live out of the house now.

As a photographer, I strongly recommend printing a dozen or so of your favorite pictures each year because your great grandchildren will not have the patience to sift through the thousands on your smartphone–assuming the unlikely scenario that their technology would be in sync with ours. Like a good photo collection, my fantasy reading list showing book titles and reading/checkout dates is an emotional diary of sorts, that celebrates what’s important in my life at that moment. They serve as a reminder of both what happened and what it meant then, bringing back memories that are hopefully perceived by the lens of appreciation for their gifts of growth and learning.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share the collection of books that shaped your own fabulous history. As our lives keep getting busier, consider audio books a secret weapon that allows you to keep reading while driving, working and doing chores.

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Making Dreams Come True

 

Be in love

with your life,

every minute of it.

Jack Kerouac

A-Woman-Makes-a-Plan-book-Maye-Musk

A Woman Makes a Plan by Maye Musk

For this month of love, let us count the ways that we can step towards our dreams by creating space for possibility and asking the questions “How can I make this possible?” and “Who can help me get what I need?”  Acknowledging our desires is a way of saying to our soul “I love you… I hear you.”  In doing this, we add frisson to our days with expectancy, add a twinkle in our eyes  even when we’re by ourselves. Joy is contagious, making us like leaven unto bread in inspiring the people around us when we laugh more, learn to take disappointment in stride and life less seriously.

As we create memories to remember with naughty smiles when we’re on our rocking chairs, let us celebrate all the (small) ways we are making a difference and taking destiny in our own hands.  Nobody else will have as much reason to want to fulfill our dreams and it is up to us to grab opportunity, leaving little room for regrets on chances we don’t take.

If and when we do achieve our goal, may we take the time to relish the feeling of satisfaction before our restless minds turn its attention to some other dream. And even when we don’t get what we want, may we remember to be thankful for the new insights we’ve learned along the way, how we have expanded our growth and understanding, may we relish the distance we shall have covered in our world, geographically and emotionally.

Today is just as good as any day to start.

Maye Musk deserves a separate blog post all her own yet I could not resist including her book here.  Her story as a single mother of three is exemplary, plodding through difficult times and still coming through with grace and charm in her golden years.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your favorite inspiration for making your dreams come true. Below are new books you may want to add to your reading queue. Enjoy your self love journey!

xoxox

You Can Have It All by Romi Neustadt

Risk by Kevin Allison

Power-of-a-Poisitive-No-book

The Power of a Positive No by William Ury

Make Your Bed by William Mcraven

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Own Your Love Song

 

It’s easy to play any musical instrument:

all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time

and the instrument will play itself.

Johan Sebastian Bach

 

My young adults, tired of hearing ads interrupt the music streaming on my free Spotify, finally gifted me a family subscription.  I’m proud to report I’ve been enjoying it, keeping their bluetooth speakers busy while they’re away from home, playing loud music until the husband comes home and shuts down my party of one (unless you count the rabbit as fellow party animal.)

When they do come home, I’m always amazed at how quickly they can mouth the lyrics of new pop and rap songs that I barely understand, which is just as well because the few words I do pickup I’d rather not add to my vocabulary anyway. Life is hard as it is and I prefer earworms that remind me to be happy, strong and powerful.  With Spotify’s algorithm identifying global top 200 streamed songs as gloomiest in February, why not create our own playlist of positivity and serenade ourselves with uplifting words and beats that make us want to dance and smile naughtily? I wish someone had told me in my youth that we are better off dedicating love songs to our own reflection on every kind of mirror.

To celebrate true love on Valentine’s, I dedicate my first Spotify playlist to my young adults and to you. May we never forget that the truest love we will ever find on this earth is the love we give ourselves, the truest power that which we exercise starting right where we are!

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your favorite song to my collection of happiness on Spotify. Feel free to share the playlist link at the bottom of this page.

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy my Best of Happy playlist on Spotify:

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Around South Beach

 

I’ve only been to three countries:

Canada, LA,

and Miami.

Larry The Cable Guy

 

One Hotel rooftop pool

 

The best remedy for the winter blues is to plan, or at least imagine, an escape to warmer climes. Miami is quick and easy for us, Northeastern birds, while also being a great destination for our young adults to explore on their own.  These family fun recommendations tend to skirt Ocean Drive simply because I’m not a fan of that part of town:

 

Faena Hotel is a distance from the maddening crowd, but you have to see the fantastic murals in their lobby by Juan Gatti (above,) their glamorous Living Room lounge (below,) and the live show at their cozy theater inspired by Europe’s grand opera houses.

At the opposite end of Faena’s velvet and gold plush interiors (which are so very much my style) but within easy walking distance to the action on Collins Ave, One Hotel is all about sustainability and being environmentally friendly. It has a vibrant lobby scene with a live band trio playing most evenings and–most important for the young ones–free WIFI.  If you stride past their rooftop restaurant and bar at night, you can have all the the pool’s lounge chairs to yourself, making a fabulous after dinner hang out for a quiet chat with family/friends or your kindle.

Time Out Market is a hopping food hall off Lincoln Road with a wide selection or food purveyors that allow everyone to take their time mixing and matching cuisines.  My favorite, Lena, cooks dishes on a wood burning stove and serves a unique combination of fresh burrata sitting on a slightly charred slice of pineapple–the memory makes me salivate as I write. They also have a couple of bars for alcoholic beverages as well as an oyster bar.

Chalan On The Beach is a very casual family-run Peruvian restaurant with the best fish cerviche, Pargo Frito (fried whole red snapper,) Lomo Saltado (beef stir fry), and mango, passion fruit or soursop smoothies.

Around 4:00 pm, park yourself at the waterside bar of Smith & Wollensky South Pointe to watch cruise ships parade by as the sun sets.

For a change of scenery, take a 22 minute drive to Rusty Pelican in Key Biscayne for magnificent city views all around.

 

On Sundays, catch the fresh cut tropical fruit market on Lincoln Road at the corner of Washington Ave.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your Miami faves.

(All photos on this page are from Google Images.)

xoxox

 

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Coming Up Roses

 

May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early!

My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue,

so that I triumph even when I fall.

Alaister Crowley

 

 

Exciting new decade and new worlds of possibility to you! Among my resolutions is to refer to my sons and daughter as “young adults” instead of “kids” or “children” which they no longer are or should act like.  2020 marks their Defining Decade and because our culture loves to associate turning  21 with drunken abandon–any monkey can do that!–while headline news and social media are rife with people steeped in money and power who have grown old without growing up, can someone please tell me what qualities truly define an adult?

I feel relief as I wave them back on the bus to their respective colleges. I feel the need for a conscious shifting of gears when they are home for extended holidays while hanging on to dear charm, keeping irritation on a low simmer over the household dynamic that tends to revert to how things were when they were adorable little cutiepies. The transition is difficult for both sides entailing diplomacy and patience on thin supply as we shift from automatic overplayed roles to a reversal that isn’t fun for those who have relished being  given to and taken care of.  Small wonder the pervasive marketing of the myth of martyrdom with motherhood!

On New Year’s eve, I told them 2020 is a wonderful decade to plant their feet firmly on the ground so “No babies please.”  What I really mean to say is “No more acting like babies please” but even if they were to take me literally, any juggler knows better than to add another ball to one’s act before getting good at one ball first.  Perfecting the growing act takes while, so I’ll hold on to my rose colored glasses with tiny resolutions meanwhile:

Stoke a passion  Indulge a hobby or learn something new. Nothing is sexier than a woman with a glow in her eyes that comes from inner joy and purpose. There’s much that cosmetics and surgeries get credit for, but you can’t buy authentic beauty that shines from an inner light.

Make movement a part of your day Take the stairs (instead of elevators/escalators) to use the ladies room in the farthest floor of a building. Park farthest from the door of the office, gym, restaurant, grocery or mall. Let dance music move you while you’re doing chores or getting dressed. Stretch those quads while brushing teeth and use each door frame you walk through as a reminder to roll shoulders back, chest out, and chin up.

Check texts/email/social media only after meals  The diet mindset is best applied to our relationship with tech devices. As for food, you’ll never have to worry about weight if you eat regularly, choose fresh over processed, pass on gluten/sugar/liquor and eat your vegetables like mom always said.

Act with kindness  Do something random for someone you may not get credit for. Keep a running gratitude list of how you got lucky and feel blessed at least before bedtime to sleep happy.

Go someplace you’ve never been  Learn and experience something new, welcome new influences through a new club/group, travel and even reading a book can take you somewhere magical.

Give 2 compliments each day One for someone you live or work with. Another for the person in the mirror.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add what being an adult means to you. Happy and healthy 2020 and make this your best decade yet!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Merry On A White Beach: A Christmas Wedding

 

I love being married.

It’s so great to find that one special person

you can annoy the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

 

 

After waiting an entire lifetime for Mr. Right, my favorite sister brought together our nearest and dearest to celebrate her first ever (and I’m sure the groom hopes, her ONLY) wedding. I loved that this most memorable family reunion was on the beach and in a casual setting, attendees dressed in white and the groom was good humored about holding props as requested.

As the bride’s Best Woman, I shared with the cozy gathering a few things I’ve learned from having had a head start of 25 years in this marriage business. Many are easier in theory than practice, but, hey, it’s the thought that counts:

Pick you battles and don’t believe that nonsense about never going to bed angry. Things look different in the morning when you’re better rested. But, of course, if you can’t fall sleep, then stay up and fight!

Being right is overrated.

When your spouse’s behavior is open to interpretation, ascribe the higher motive.

Bite your tongue when tempted to nag or complain, look out for the good, count blessing and express gratitude often.

The louder your spouse yells, the quieter and calmer you need to be.

Your definition of sexy will change over time.

Generosity is the key to happiness.

The most important four words in a marriage: I’ll clean up, Honey.

Be the first to apologize. Life is too short to hold grudges.

Accept apologies graciously.

It takes a village to make a marriage work.

Sweep her off her feet and add fireworks, literally.

Never complain about the food when your spouse cooks.

Wisdom from a Chinese proverb: Big talk, big mistake. Small talk, small mistake. No talk, no mistake.

Because love conquers all and bind us no matter what, click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your relationship advice for living happily ever after. My young adults won’t likely have the patience to wait around as long for their own fairytale, so the one strategy I’d pass on to them is to be the kind of spouse their husband/wife will be foolish to leave.

Through the holidays, keep friends and family close, your enemies closer along with receipts of all major gift purchases. Ho Ho Ho!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Beauty in Hindsight

 

Being absolutely certain that one is right is part of growing up

and so is realizing years later

that the truth may be more nuanced.

Rebecca Meade

 

As you gather with loved ones this Thanksgiving, what will you count among your favorite blessings?  I am thankful for great health and the freedom to create happy memories, the constant love of friends and family, the joy of working with the inspiring and generous women featured on this blog.  I am most thankful for the wisdom that comes from looking back on my life and seeing the big picture, how things eventually work out for a good reason, if we hang on to our sense of humor through the desperation and disappointment of not getting what we want. Then there are the the many little things we may take for granted, like the first one on this list of comforting quips from What I Wish I’d Known in the book compilation The Most of Nora Ephron:

The empty nest is underrated.

If the shoe doesn’t fit in the shoe store, it’s never going to fit.

When the children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

The plane is not going to crash.

There’s no point in making piecrust from scratch.

Anything you think is wrong with your body today you will be nostalgic for a decade later.

Write everything down.

Keep a journal.

Back up your files.

Overinsure everything.

Whenever someone says “Our friendship is more important than this,” watch out, because it almost never is.

Take more pictures.

You can order more than one dessert.

You can’t be friends with people who call after 11:00 pm.

The world’s greatest babysitter burns out after two and a half years.

The last four years of psychoanalysis are a waste of money.

Overtip.

Never let them know.

If friends ask you to be their child’s guardian in case they die, you can say no.

There are no secrets.

You never know.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what hindsight makes you thankful at last. Happy Gobble Gobble!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Fearless in Style

 

People often ask, “You have so much confidence.

Where did that come from?” It came from me.

One day I decided that I was beautiful then

carried out my life as if I were beautiful.

Gabourey Sidibe

 

Aside from Halloween, I don’t do therapy.  I am completely capable of boring myself with my own whining, obsessive worries, and  old stories that other people mistake to need resolution or absolution. I do all this with a journal because, unlike friends, pen and paper take it all in without compounding my complaints with worse versions of their own. Besides, if I had to dress and drive somewhere, I want to be the one charging for the hour. When it comes to overcoming fear and trepidation, this witch swears by these style tricks that thoroughly complements the essential broomstick:

Own one fabulous coat (or jacket.) When you have to run out of the house in pajamas, a long dress coat hides many sins while allowing effortless elegance.  Barbara Corcoran launched her real estate empire wearing the same red coat to all her client meetings.  This power coat was her biggest investment as a small town waitress starting a new and very foreign career in the big city. And when you’re done torturing yourself teetering on stilettos, find a comfy pair with an inch or two of sturdier heels with rubber soles that’s kind to your spine while still encouraging good posture.

Color is my coffee  Wake yourself up with a bright, light or white top. Color has healing properties, perks up your face and makes you smile when you see yourself in the mirror. There is one other reason why I don’t wear black: No one has died yet.

Perfect eyelashes   The purpose of having a daughter and girlfriends is to have people you can count on to glue on your lashes when you’re no longer capable of doing this yourself.  Whether it’s lipstick, a blowout, or a facial, indulge in whatever makes you feel better about what you’ve got. My life may not be perfect, but my fake eyelashes can be.

Wonder Woman  I love this film starring Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman.  She was no helpless Barbie Doll in real life as an Israeli citizen with the requisite military training. As Wonder Woman, she ventured out of her tiny cloistered island, overcoming great fear of leaving all that she loved behind to venture into the unknown for the sake of saving the planet. When I need a push to get out of my comfy world, to travel somewhere or to attend an event where I know no one, I dress well and coax myself with the thought that I can show up for just a wee little bit. I promise myself that I can leave anytime I feel like and dangle a treat as reward after. More often that not, I end up staying at the event for much longer and have a great time meeting or simply observing a different world and its people. Amy Cuddy shares a life hack to quickly boost your confidence through Power Posing.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you say BOO! to fear.

xoxox

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

The Unusual Selfie

 

The best advice I’ve received is

”No one else knows

what they’re doing either.”

Ricky Gervais

 

All our friends, family and Facebook’s facial recognition software already know what we look like so how about we give them something more interesting to see than just another selfie?

Here’s how I made these Unusual Selfies without needing a selfie stick:

Get a Folio Case for your smartphone. Coach.com has a fun selection in leather to hold your cash/cards as well as protect your phone’s glass surface. More importantly, it serves as a stand to angle and prop up your phone so you can use its timer (and AF lock) to compose the shot before you jump into the frame.

Google knows everything.  In researching my travel itinerary, I stumbled upon another mom’s blog which mentioned that Dubrovnik is a film site of HBO’s epic series Game of Thrones (GoT). My sons are great fans of this show so I thought it would be funny to impress them and sign myself up for a GoT themed city tour there.

Prep the prop. As inspiration for this GoT tour, I decided go as one of the show’s main characters, Daenerys, aka “The Mother of Dragons” who wears the best costumes among its lead cast.  I packed a fantastic 3D print replica of her Mother of Dragons necklace as well as three custom painted dragon eggs from Etsy.com.

Dubrovnik is King’s Landing in GoT, the capital of the story’s 7 Kingdoms. It has imposing medieval fort walls flooded with tourists. You’ll have a better chance of enjoying the place all to yourself if you visit in winter. Finding a quiet spot can be impossible so keep an eye out for locations  with relatively few passersby.  Be patient and wait for a lull in the crowd to get a clear background.  From the pier, for example, I walked along the base of the fort until I found an outcropping of rocks facing the sea that also happened to have an angle of the castle known as the Red Keep in the show.  I took time positioning the dragon eggs and iPhone until I got the shots I wanted to tell my story—an especially poignant one for a mother of three (dragons) who have all flown the nest. Rain clouds were perfect for the mood and a scarf billowing in the wind added the effect of dragon wings.

If someone offers to take your picture, all the better!  At the Iron Throne (GoT souvenir shop at Boshkoviceva 7 in the old town), my GoT tour guide impressed me with the filters on his Samsung even as he envied how my iPhone takes creamier pictures in daylight.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your best selfie trick without a stick.

Xoxox

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

Alone Need Not Be Lonely

 

Your child’s life will

be filled with fresh experiences.

It’s good if yours is as well.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford

 

 

Happy new school year and Hurray for Empty Nest!  While our young wannabe adults are happily settled in their respective college dorms, I am skipping around the house, thrilled to have it all to myself at last. No more waking to other people’s alarms, slamming doors or heavy footfall. No mess in the kitchen sink that isn’t mine.  No one else’s junk spilling out of one less cupboard. The only thing I miss is a compelling answer to that question well-meaning friends and family never tire of asking: What next?  Why–Do they imagine being stripped off the mantel of mothering depressing? That I’d mourn its relentless martyrdom?  Rush to fill the void of being needed?  Au contraire!  I am quite content admiring the empty spaces in my internal and physical landscape, reveling in the freedom of a blank slate, stillness and quiet. I feel so much excitement bubbling over no specific reason. It is an exhilaration not unlike  jailbreak!

Aaah, that blank canvas–it is intimidating even as it promises much possibility.  In this culture of relentless achievement, how can I possibly look people in the eye and admit I do not have a grand plan?  Yet, yet my heart feels full and so very excited over what appears to be absolutely nothing.  I take pleasure in this time to embrace and circle back to the self I have ignored for too long in the service of family. I am seduced by the attention I can give to the woman whose voice has been drowned out by everyone else’s wants and schedules at work and at home.  This could be a scary chapter indeed. What if that blank canvas remains just that?  At least, I am cushioned by the confidence that I have been in this familiar place of new beginnings many times before. Since then, I have acquired riches over the years in wealth and clarity about what makes me happy or not.  I can choose to narrow options or expand creatively, seeing the old with new eyes.

As unread books on the shelf wink at me complicity and travel adventures beckon, I dream of new crafts awaiting to be learned, beautiful objects to be found in cultures and traditions that I’ve taken for granted.  I may yet learn Mandarin, find the patience to paint like a renaissance master, write that darn book that stubbornly refuses to write itself. Who knows what doors I’ll open or what doors I’ll build if opportunity doesn’t knock?  Great expectations include plotting my escape from cooking for two (without resorting to divorce,) going back to college for the sheer joy of learning, and why not a gap year from all adult responsibility?!

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what a blank canvas means to you.

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Doors

 

Birthdays are good for you.

Statistics show that the people who have the most

live the longest.

Larry Lorenzoni

 

A very Happy Birthday to this Powerful Goddess of many talents and to all of us, summer beauties, as we welcome another year of opening doors for possibility, adventure, or simply enjoy the pleasure of seeing what’s always been in front of us with new eyes!

Excerpt from That Which You Are Seeking is Causing You to Seek by Cheri Huber:

Letting go allows us to see that we are never in control in the first place.  “Do you really mean that I have no control over my life?”  Not in the sense that we usually mean it.  You can write the script, but you’ll need a lot of cooperation for the play to go the way you’ve written it.  That’s a lot to expect, especially when you consider that everyone else has a script that doesn’t read anything like yours.

You can make plans, you can make decisions, you can make choices, but there’s no guarantee that things will go the way you expect or want them to.  When you can see that, when you can act without attachment  to the outcome, you are acting from the center that knows it does not control life, even as it knows it is life itself.

Letting go is releasing our grip on delusion, allowing us to see what is.  When we stop resisting what is, when we stop clinging to our beliefs and assumptions about how things should be, we open ourselves to the present moment.  Letting go goes hand in hand with acceptance.  One does not happen without the other.  Letting go is opening the hand.  Acceptance is what the open hand receives.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you welcome a new day and an exciting new year!

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empty Next

 

Make the most of yourself,

for that is all there is

of you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This graduation season has been a sentimental milestone for me.  It closes a chapter in life that leaves my husband and me standing exposed as individuals who have been immersed as committed parents for the last couple of decades. It kind of feels like a breakup with the house all quiet, one less plate to set at meal time, no more mountains of laundry or mess in the kitchen. Thankfully, these wise beauties share their recipes for getting over it–sometimes slowly but surely:

You need to cook that beautiful dinner even when it’s just you, wear your favorite outfit, buy yourself some flowers, and celebrate the self love that often gets muddled when we focus on what we don’t have. -Meghan Markle

Time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful. Good morning.’ You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day and planning fun dinner parties and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine. -Taylor Swift

There are two ways you can go: You can either nurture yourself or go destructive. I have gone down the destructive path before, and that didn’t work for me. You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends. -Katy Perry

I actually shed tears for the woman I used to be. How sad was I in my ‘please’ and ‘you don’t understand, just give me another chance’ and all that stuff. What I now know is that was my biggest teacher. He was here to show me to myself so I could learn to love myself more. This was the guy who said to me, ‘The problem with you is you think you special.’ And I said, ‘No I’m not. No, I’m not really special.’ Look at me now. -Oprah Winfrey

Heartbreak is a gift in itself. Cry if you have to, but it won’t be forever! You will find love again, and it will be even more beautiful! In the meantime enjoy all that YOU are! -Rihanna

There are many stages of grief. It’s sad, something coming to an end. It cracks you open. When you try to avoid the pain, it creates greater pain. I’m a human being, having a human experience in front of the world. I try really hard to rise above it. -Jennifer Aniston

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) on how you’d fill an empty nest.

All images on this page are from Google.

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fathers On Love

 

Learn from other people’s mistakes.

We will never live long enough

to make them all on our own.

from “Human Engineering” by Harry Myers and Mason M. Roberts

 

Happy Father’s Day!  Llittle Daddy’s girls grow up too quickly into gorgeous women!  What life experience would you pass on to our daughters as wisdom on men and relationships?

Prince Charming is not coming.  Do you really want to get involved with a dashing self-absorbed Mama’s boy who’s obsessed with slaying dragons and chasing damsels in distress?  This can only mean he’s unemployed and is on serious medication to believe dragons exist. You won’t be the first nor last damsel in distress he’ll want to rescue and his thirst for constant adventure won’t make him a happy helper with the kids at home. There is a price to pay for everything so clarify the manly qualities that are most important to you, as well as your deal breakers.

Handle your own money. Set up your bank accounts so an automatic percentage for every dollar you earn goes to a savings account that grows.  No matter how attractive credit card companies make the terms of their little plastics, do not spend more than what you have.  Most importantly, avoid marrying other people’s debts and drama.

Be happy alone. Whether in a relationship or not, keep time alone sacred and romance yourself each week to enjoy your own company. Even when demanding children start popping into the scene, your primary relationship should always be with yourself.

Great sex ain’t good enough.  A relationship needs conversation, laughter and shared values to make it through tough times. Before those sex hormones cloud your thinking–making you obsessive and attached–establish ties that bind common interests outside the bedroom.

Actions speak louder.  Falling in love is delusional. When we’re interested in someone, we will interpret other people’s words to skew for intent. If his actions don’t back up what he says, learn from Ariana Grande: Next!

Something is not always better than nothing.  How does he make your life better? If you know he’s not good enough, but he’s the only one who has asked you out in awhile, don’t waste your time nor his. Both of you are better off asking other people out whom you may be better matched. Don’t be lazy.

Keep your relationships rich and varied. Many women brush off girlfriends in the thrill of being a couple.  Rookie mistake!  Maintain breathing room to acknowledge your individuality and he will appreciate your confidence in giving him time to himself and to hang with his boys. Value each other’s disparate experiences and influences that you bring to the table. At the very least, make sure you like his friends and family because you’ll be spending time a lot of time with them, too.

Your sad story is boring. Whatever and whoever shows up in our lives are meant to draw out qualities like wisdom, strength and courage. Find the gift of a breakup, never abandon yourself, and move forward in life with greater self-compassion and understanding. There is never a wasted experience and there is no dignity in being identified as victim forever.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share wisdom from your dad or your own, if you’re a dad yourself. You’re too lucky to be loved by many divine Goddesses!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: