Merry On A White Beach: A Christmas Wedding

 

I love being married.

It’s so great to find that one special person

you can annoy the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

 

 

After waiting an entire lifetime for Mr. Right, my favorite sister brought together our nearest and dearest to celebrate her first ever (and I’m sure the groom hopes, her ONLY) wedding. I loved that this most memorable family reunion was on the beach and in a casual setting, attendees dressed in white and the groom was good humored about holding props as requested.

As the bride’s Best Woman, I shared with the cozy gathering a few things I’ve learned from having had a head start of 25 years in this marriage business. Many are easier in theory than practice, but, hey, it’s the thought that counts:

Pick you battles and don’t believe that nonsense about never going to bed angry. Things look different in the morning when you’re better rested. But, of course, if you can’t fall sleep, then stay up and fight!

Being right is overrated.

When your spouse’s behavior is open to interpretation, ascribe the higher motive.

Bite your tongue when tempted to nag or complain, look out for the good, count blessing and express gratitude often.

The louder your spouse yells, the quieter and calmer you need to be.

Your definition of sexy will change over time.

Generosity is the key to happiness.

The most important four words in a marriage: I’ll clean up, Honey.

Be the first to apologize. Life is too short to hold grudges.

Accept apologies graciously.

It takes a village to make a marriage work.

Sweep her off her feet and add fireworks, literally.

Never complain about the food when your spouse cooks.

Wisdom from a Chinese proverb: Big talk, big mistake. Small talk, small mistake. No talk, no mistake.

Because love conquers all and bind us no matter what, click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your relationship advice for living happily ever after. My young adults won’t likely have the patience to wait around as long for their own fairytale, so the one strategy I’d pass on to them is to be the kind of spouse their husband/wife will be foolish to leave.

Through the holidays, keep friends and family close, your enemies closer along with receipts of all major gift purchases. Ho Ho Ho!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

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for a most memorable photo shoot for up to three people!

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© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

How To Thank The Thanksgiving Hostess

 

There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna,

turkey pastrami… Someone needs to tell the turkey,

“Man, just be yourself!”

Mitch Hedberg

 

When I grow up, I’ll look forward to being the guest for Thanksgiving. Until that day comes, I soldier on hosting for the sake of keeping my teens engaged in the kitchen and leaving them with good memories of tradition and togetherness.  A bit more fun than being sad and lonely tech zombies on their individual cellphones and laptops, yes?

My wish for them is to be wanted as guests in other people’s homes, too, and here are a few clues to what it takes to be the hostess’ favorite whatever your age:

Arrive on time–no excuses. No asking for pickup from the bus stop if you have legs that can carry you the distance.

Send a lovely flower arrangement before the event or visit.  It is always wise not to show up empty handed but bringing a bouquet of flowers only gives the hostess one more last minute thing to do (find and fill a vase) when she already has more than enough on her plate.

Clean up after yourself and help clear the kitchen sink.  If the hostess protests. tell her it’s against your religion and you’d rather make it to heaven.

Bring the entertainment.  Being a good guest can simply be as fun as bringing a game, activity (eg, face painting with young kids) or teach a magic/card trick or skill that entertains all.

If you’re a weekend guest, make/bring breakfast one morning and pay for at least one meal out while you’re there.

After you leave, mail an old fashioned thank you note with prints of your best photos from your time together. Nobody makes time to print but, truth be told, in our age of constantly changing technology and infinite digital photos, only prints count for posterity.

Surprise the hostess with a gift she will enjoy (a board game her family will love, a wireless speaker for their porch, etc).

Pick up the phone and invite them to be your guest when they’re in your part of the world.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what you like to add to the Thanksgiving table.  Happy Gobble Gobble and know I’m thankful for you!

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

 

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

A Jealous Husband’s Lament

 

When you’re young, you think

your dad is Superman.

Then you grow up and realize

he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.

Dave Attell

What woman would not prefer a man who wines and dines her with a more refined sartorial sense? A man who’s not afraid of feelings and can look her deeply in the eyes while holding meaningful conversation? All these after years of togetherness and familiarity. Nor do I mean a gay friend either.

Happy Father’s Day to the superhero we live with–May we never grow blind to your  unique superpowers through the years!

Excerpt from Devin Friedman’s article “A Jealous Husband’s Lament” in GQ’s May 2018 issue:

Why, as the family man ages, does he become more reclusive, sedentary, ursine? Meanwhile, it’s different for women, I discovered recently  that my wife has been having all these affairs. With her friends. She goes out and drinks wine and smokes secret cigarettes with April and Melissa and Robyn and Krista. They’re in love with each other.

They get plowed on natural wines and eat fine European cheeses and tell each other everything. They tell each other about their periods, about early menopause, about sex and what their husbands’ penises look like, about the terrible fears they have about their children and how we’re all going to die in the end.

And I have to admit that I’m jealous that my friends and I aren’t like that. I think part of the reason for this state of affairs is that, at this point I kind of don’t want another relationship in my life. I relate to my kids. I relate to my wife. I relate to my wife about my kids. I relate to my kids about each other. I relate to the people I work with. All I want to do at night is drink a Negroni and not relate to anybody.

And I think the other part is that men are brittle, ego-obsessed little freaks. I know virtually nothing about most of my friends’ sex lives, wifely relationships, erectile dysfunctions, fears of death and bankruptcy. That, at least for me, is because we care too deeply about seeming like we’re doing okay. That we’re winning. That we have achieved a place in the world. That we are not failures. But how much fun is it to meet your friend for a drink and lay out an argument for how awesome you are?

So here’s a proclamation: I’m going to get more intimate. I’m going to have an affair with my friend. I feel like the way to do it is to be forthright and real. As a gambit, but also maybe as a better way to live. I expect middling success. But look out, Zach’s wife, because I’m about to know everything about you.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you’ll celebrate Father’s Day and a super kiss to your favorite superman!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

xoxox

 

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people:

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

When Santa Gets Naughty

 

Santa has the right idea:

Visit people

once a year.

Victor Borge

 

 

Imagine if every Santa said “No, thanks!” to doing all the things people take for granted, can’t be bothered to do, or simply deride: planning gatherings, putting up holiday decor, shopping and wrapping presents, sending holiday cards, cooking, hosting, and cleaning up after parties, stroking egos, playing diplomat between factions and generations, being the invisible glue that binds family and friends together?

Just sayin’.

Happiest of Holidays with enormous gratitude to every Santa out there! For a convenient holiday planning guide, see Real Simple’s Ultimate Christmas Countdown Checklist.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how much more interesting the year might get if a Santa this hot promises to (teach you how to) whip naughty into nice?

Keep doing the all the good you do and the warmest of divine holiday blessings to you and your beloveds. Ho-Ho-Ho!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with  a Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people:

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

The Thanksgiving Guru

 

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what we have into enough and more.

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.

It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,

and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Melody Beattie

 

Last week, I heard a woman speak about the definition of gratitude beyond what you find in a dictionary. I loved her reminder that gratitude is not only about being thankful for what we have, it’s about out ability to give in whatever capacity regardless of our own circumstances.

And when it comes to being charitable, is there a better place to practice than home?  Home–that place where it’s easiest to take people for granted, where biting one’s tongue is a daily mediation, where one’s divinity and charm get tested most passionately. Over the holidays, how do you channel your inner Buddha and keep a thankful heart amidst the wilderness of those you can’t live without nor can’t get rid of?

Meet on neutral ground.  A destination resort allows everyone to chill and enjoy each other without the stress of housekeeping, cooking, groceries and running the laundry.  All the more energy for all to behave graciously around each other.

Have a virtual visit. Skype, Facebook and FaceTime allow far-flung relatives to share adventures, open presents together, exchange knock knock jokes for hours with your four year old niece. Schedule calls after something exciting so children and teens will have more news to open a conversation.

Make a contribution. It is easy to fall back on the role of dependent when you’re in your parents’ roof so make a commitment to yourself to take on chores (and bills) without being asked. When my sister can’t visit my neck of the woods, she sends a special floral arrangement as our dining room’s centerpiece so she is always a remembered in our celebration.

Build in breathing space. If visiting relatives with children, stay at a nearby hotel or Airbnb to give the hostess down time. That way you can change venues when crankiness (either adult or juvenile) sets in. If your parents insist, let the children sleep over and you can get date night out of it.

Manage expectations. Of course, you’ll want to hang out with people you enjoy more–those we usually call “friends”. Just let the family know in advance so they don’t make plans that you’ll end up foiling.

Hang on to your sense of humor. Family is the wisest of all spiritual gurus–relatives never give up egging you until you surrender and find another perspective that allows you to make peace with the situation if not the person. Humor is my best defense. When someone starts to tip my tea and I’m at the brink of forgetting I am divine and sublime, I play worse case scenario  with myself “At least, (s)he’s not…”

It is with great pleasure that I share the poem above from a thoughtful guest who graced our table a couple of Thanksgivings ago. Its truth is clear and will resonate forever.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your greatest blessing this year. Know that I am thankful for you! Gobble gobble!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with  a Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people:

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

Remembering Dad

I gave my dad $100 and said,

“Buy something that makes your life easier.”

So he bought something for my mother.

Rita Rudner

 

 

After you’ve trolled the mall and tired of online shopping without coming up with a brilliant Father’s Day gift idea, how about circling back to what’s most precious and truly essential?  How about giving Dad the gift of memory beyond pictures? Sit over a cup of coffee and give him your undivided attention.  Get curious and ask what he remembers best about his childhood, who shaped the man he became, what he enjoyed raising you (especially through the teen years,) and what he hopes for the future. Understanding where the man came from is necessary in telling a richer story when it’s your turn to remember the best of your life, too.

Whether you are thinking of a new relationship or simply want to strengthen old ties, Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits for Highly Effective Families lists questions that help you craft a personal mission statement that provides a touchstone for all to stay connected as a family while each member navigates his/her own destiny.

What kind of person/spouse/parent/family do we want to be?

How do we want to treat each other?

What roles should each of us have?

How can we best relate with each other’s families?

How do we want to resolve our differences?

How do we want to handle our finances?

What values do we want to teach our children?

How do we support and develop potential in each other?

What kind of discipline do we want to use with our children?

What kind of home do we want to invite friends to?

What traditions do we want to keep (and create)?

What do we want to be remembered by?

How do we want to give back?

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what your dad taught you best!

xoxox

 

 

 

 

 

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with  a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

 

 

 

Ho-Ho-Holiday Family Cheer

Parenting is mostly 

informing kids how many minutes

they have left of something.

@yoyoha

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As another year brings us closer to another teen leaving home for college,  it becomes clearer to me that creating happy family memories has got to be the most important job of parenting. Best if you print proof to remind them of the good old days when many changes of technology later shall have voided today’s digital files.

If you don’t get to print a family album for Christmas, print a few of the best of photos off your smartphone and pack a “time capsule” box for each kid to sift through with their own (grand)children later.

These pictures are from our day tour to see Dad’s office then taking the train to the city to marvel at the white marble and fantastic design of the Oculus, walking through Central Park, and surprising them with a gondola ride while waiting for dinner at the Boathouse.

I’ve been around the world and there’s no gondola ride more royal than after dark at Central Park when you get the lake, the NYC skyline, and the heavens above all to yourselves. The gondolier serenades you with his witty renditions of Italian arias personalized to the occasion you’re celebrating.  Add this adventure to your own family treasures!

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your best memory with  the family this year. Warmest of holiday wishes and many more merries!

xoxox

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xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with  a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

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