In lieu of shaking hands and hugs,
you may simply kneel, bow or curtsy to me
at a safe distance.
Anonymous (who is usually a woman)
My 21 years old is certain that this lockdown has got to be every mother’s dream with the family gathered at home, having nowhere to go and no friends to visit. He has no clue how Empty Nest had been not unlike heaven for me!
If we must lead this virtual Amish lifestyle until who knows when, leaving us with few options, how shall we keep from spiraling into darkness and despair? How do we remember to consider ourselves fortunate that we can still take strolls to enjoy the Spring blooms, how we are lucky if we have no greater worries than enduring boredom, the torment of what to cook next, and the anguish of wearing masks and gloves that don’t match? Goddess knows many have more serious cares and there shall be more concerns not yet apparent.
As we struggle with feelings of fear and helplessness, let us count the ways how this unexpected pause might be just what we need, taking comfort in this excerpt from Pema Chodron‘s When Things Fall Apart:
Underneath our ordinary lives, underneath all the talking we do, all the moving we do, all the thoughts in our minds, there’s a fundamental groundlessness. It’s there bubbling along all the time. we experience it as restlessness and edginess. We experience it as fear. It motivates passion, aggression, ignorance, jealousy, and pride, but we never get down to the essence of it.
Refraining is the method for getting to know the nature of this restlessness and fear. It’s a method for settling into groundlessness. If we immediately entertain ourselves by talking, by acting, by thinking–if there’s never any pause–we will never be able to relax. We will always be speeding through our lives. We’ll always be stuck with what my grandfather called a good case of the jitters. Refraining is a way of making friends with ourselves at the most profound level possible. We can begin to relate with what’s underneath, all the stuff that comes out and expresses itself as controlling, manipulative behavior, or whatever it is. Underneath all that fear and edginess, there’s something very soft, very tender.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your new discoveries while home bound. Be gentle with yourself and no matter what happens next, keep finding the good, the possible and the funny right where we are, one day at a time.
xoxox
xoxox
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Apr 21, 2020 @ 20:30:23
I have found in this disruption some benefits that have always been available but normally more easily overlooked for more convenient alternatives. The most obvious choice is of what to or where to eat. Although I normally try to eat a healthier diet even in my choices of restaurants including fast food if you look deep enough. I now am looking for new recipes to try. I love to cook and try new things and I try to make them a bit more healthy if possible. A little more exercise for myself and my dog. All I have to say to her is “walk” and her excitement goes off the scale. Not so much with me, but we both benefit.
I like to challenge myself while wearing those annoying masks to make some fun of it. I don a triangular scarf and a cowboy hat to see if I get any comments like “looking for a stagecoach to rob”? But knowing me, if I lived in the days of the old west I’d be the shotgun rider on the coach or the sheriff chasing the bandits. I like to look at people’s faces or what I can see of them and try and detect a smile in their eyes or try and make them smile with mine, more the ladies! Ya gotta make the best of it!
All in all it a pain in the butt and all we can do is fumble through it and keep looking at the brighter side. The lower price of gas, the air is cleaner and when you do go out there is no traffic! Living in Southern California those are blessings without a disguise!
Speaking of eyes, photo number three! Well maybe a little more than just her eyes. 😉
Take care,
Mountain