Thinner Peace

I want to weigh less,

not by diet and exercise,

but by acquiring a faulty scale.

Jarod Kintz


Now that both men and women (and, by osmosis, our children) stand firmly united in obsessing about weight, how about a new way of thinking to start the schoolyear? A visualization from Martha Beck on how to keep that weight off for good:

Hold out both your palms. Imagine on one hand a mini-version of your Dictator, that part of you that insists on losing weight, screaming insults that make you feel fat.  On the other hand, see a mini-version of your Wild Child, the kid who’s tired, afraid and frightened from being continually assaulted by the Dictator’s attacks and privations. Notice that both mini-yous are essentially good. The Dictators get frantic when you gain weight just as you would if you saw a toddler wandering into traffic. It screams and yells, pushes and forces, because it’s trying to save you from a terrible, fat fate.  And your Wild child isn’t remotely malicious, just devastated, confused, and afraid.

Realize that both the Wild Child and the Dictator deserve compassion. Offer it to them by saying this:

You are well.

You are blessed.

You are free.

The wisdom traditions of every culture teach techniques (meditation, prayer) for aligning with this compassionate, observing self.

The antidote to obesity is not starvation, it’s compassion.  The opposite of being out of control isn’t being in control, but being in love–not in romance, but as in compassion.

Don’t feel compelled to replace overeating with virtuous work or exercise; instead, make a list of things you love, from watching TV to hanging out with favorite people. Nurturing touch (a pedicure, a massage, sex) is especially effective, since it triggers production of the same opioid hormones as eating.

Stop taking undue responsibility for your spouse’s and children’s feelings.

Become the Watcher.  Be kind toward your anxious self. The body is a persistent teacher, always trying to teach us acceptance:  of our bodies, our emotions, our situations. Love, in the form of kindness to ourselves, is what never fails.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share how you show compassion towards yourself no matter what.







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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mountain
    Sep 11, 2015 @ 08:45:47

    Yesterday within a minute of reading your blog Sharon, I saw this quote in an unlikely place.

    “Love is the absence of judgment”–Dalai Lama.

    It stood out to me for many reasons and made me think of many things including as a response for here. Is it fitting I wondered? There are so many times that little things happen and I wonder; why that moment, why did I see that, why do I know the things I know? Then I think, they are shown to me for a reason. So I pay attention to detail, automatically. I guess it’s my gift to myself.

    Photo # three



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