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Fathers On Love

16 Jun 2019 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Marriage & Relationships, Women's Empowerment Tags: Father's Day wisdom, fine art nude, love and relationships

Learn from other people’s mistakes.

We will never live long enough

to make them all on our own.

from “Human Engineering” by Harry Myers and Mason M. Roberts

Happy Father’s Day! Llittle Daddy’s girls grow up too quickly into gorgeous women! What life experience would you pass on to our daughters as wisdom on men and relationships?

Prince Charming is not coming. Do you really want to get involved with a dashing self-absorbed Mama’s boy who’s obsessed with slaying dragons and chasing damsels in distress? This can only mean he’s unemployed and is on serious medication to believe dragons exist. You won’t be the first nor last damsel in distress he’ll want to rescue and his thirst for constant adventure won’t make him a happy helper with the kids at home. There is a price to pay for everything so clarify the manly qualities that are most important to you, as well as your deal breakers.

Handle your own money. Set up your bank accounts so an automatic percentage for every dollar you earn goes to a savings account that grows. No matter how attractive credit card companies make the terms of their little plastics, do not spend more than what you have. Most importantly, avoid marrying other people’s debts and drama.

Be happy alone. Whether in a relationship or not, keep time alone sacred and romance yourself each week to enjoy your own company. Even when demanding children start popping into the scene, your primary relationship should always be with yourself.

Great sex ain’t good enough. A relationship needs conversation, laughter and shared values to make it through tough times. Before those sex hormones cloud your thinking–making you obsessive and attached–establish ties that bind common interests outside the bedroom.

Actions speak louder. Falling in love is delusional. When we’re interested in someone, we will interpret other people’s words to skew for intent. If his actions don’t back up what he says, learn from Ariana Grande: Next!

Something is not always better than nothing. How does he make your life better? If you know he’s not good enough, but he’s the only one who has asked you out in awhile, don’t waste your time nor his. Both of you are better off asking other people out whom you may be better matched. Don’t be lazy.

Keep your relationships rich and varied. Many women brush off girlfriends in the thrill of being a couple. Rookie mistake! Maintain breathing room to acknowledge your individuality and he will appreciate your confidence in giving him time to himself and to hang with his boys. Value each other’s disparate experiences and influences that you bring to the table. At the very least, make sure you like his friends and family because you’ll be spending time a lot of time with them, too.

Your sad story is boring. Whatever and whoever shows up in our lives are meant to draw out qualities like wisdom, strength and courage. Find the gift of a breakup, never abandon yourself, and move forward in life with greater self-compassion and understanding. There is never a wasted experience and there is no dignity in being identified as victim forever.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share wisdom from your dad or your own, if you’re a dad yourself. You’re too lucky to be loved by many divine Goddesses!

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Barely There

09 Jan 2019 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Black and White Photography, Body Image, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Women's Empowerment Tags: body love, fine art nude, Funny quotes for women, new beginnings

Forgot to make resolutions?

Just write everything you did last night

and at the beginning, add the word “Stop.”

@PeteHolmes

A most beautiful and tender welcome to 2019! I shall leave resolutions for others to make and break. Instead, I extend this invitation for all to embrace the new year with a gentle remembering and a return to the womb of woman.

Let us remember the moment of our birth, the time of owning nothing yet knowing that all is well. Remember screaming loudly for our desires without worry that they might cause shame, guilt or regret. Remember not knowing that there could be some standard or measurement more correct than our own, that there can be separation between us and them, between our bodies, our planet and the heavens. Remember not knowing that we can possibly be unworthy.

Let us take this moment to remember when we knew we are true love itself, that all of who we are is good, whole and complete without missing or undesirable parts. Let us remember why we have chosen to be a light on Earth, to be with the people who are in our lives right now, and to welcome those we wish to add to our circle of care and influence. Let us recognize and own once more our power to inhabit our bodies and desires fully, to choose peace, love, action, to keep an eye on the big picture, to remember that what seems to good or bad today may yet prove to be its inverse down the road.

While we may appear to be an inconsequential drop in the very wide ripple of consciousness and consequence, let us remember that we are like leaven unto bread and we make a difference anyhow, no matter how bare our little lives may seem.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what makes you feel grounded and powerful. Continued courage in your journey and thank you so much for loving on!

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits with a

Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people!

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

The Good Wives

10 Feb 2018 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Black and White Photography, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Marriage & Relationships, Unique Gift Ideas Tags: #metoo, Esther Perel, Fifty Shades of Gray, fine art nude, funny valentine quote, infidelity book, Motherhood, Parenting Teens, sex and affairs, valentines gift ideas

If love is the answer,

could you please

rephrase the question?

Lily Tomlin

When you’ve seen every hole and gnatty stain on each other’s favorite pajamas, how do you keep the romance going? Author and TED talk speaker Esther Perel insists on our agency, our vitality and our complicity in making the best out of our long term relationships. From her book The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity:

Infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So much so that it is the only sin that gets two commandments in the Bible, one for doing it and one just for thinking about it. Lovers today seek to bring under one roof desires that have forever had separate dwellings. Our expectations have gotten all out of hand. Our obsession with transparency, total disclosure and suffocating intimacy stanches desire — fire needs air!

All this before the stigma from choosing to stay in a compromised relationship?! Ayayay!

No better day than Valentine’s to practice compassion for villains and victims alike. They may not always be what they appear, for they are equal in the opportunity to use power to their advantage–overtly and otherwise. In the double standard of society, a man’s exposed dark side becomes a witch hunt for the woman who chooses to stand by him. And I don’t even want to know what price she’s had to pay long before we come around to shame her. Who’s the bully then?

When we focus on blame, we beg the question of what we lead ourselves (and teach our young) to believe. Can there really only be fifty shades of human behavior? Until we move to Mars, power and sex are tradable currencies and commodities on this planet. There is no shame in being a victim but there is also no dignity in incessantly playing the “Poor me, too!” card. There are gallant knights, ogres, wolves and monsters–sometimes all rolled into one person, at times not always male nor blatantly powerful, some more irresistible than others–lurking in the shadows of brightly lit offices, classrooms, cheerful houses, fancy restaurants and especially hotel rooms. The question “What would you say (or do) if someone you trust and respect takes advantage of you?” should be fair game at family gatherings.

Raised by parents who were both sole survivors of their families from Holocaust concentration camps, Dr. Perel learned to distinguish between two types of people: those who were alive and those who didn’t die. Her parents “understood the erotic as an antidote to death.”

There is no greater love than allowing people to choose what’s right for themselves–even between spouses. There is no greater love we can give ourselves than deciding to fashion a full and meaningful life despite difficult and unwanted experiences. That which we don’t allow to kill us, will buy us time to understand the gift it was meant to bring. If there is one true power that nobody can ever take away from us, it is our talent for alchemy: to take the darkness of pain, hurt and suffering and allow it to push us towards the light of strength, power, wisdom and goodness as we move forward with our lives. This power is the one true guarantee of fairness in the world that we can always count on.

With or without pajamas, best to leave expectations of seeing everything in black and white to photography.

Click on “Leave a Comment” to share how you keep the bedroom fire burning. True love IS always with you! Kiss! Kiss!

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with a Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people:

© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

The Rose Bath

09 Feb 2016 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Marriage & Relationships Tags: bathtub glamour, Buddhist Pema Chodron, fine art nude, true love, unique Valentine's gift

There must be a few things

that a hot bath can’t cure,

but I don’t know many of them.

Sylvia Plath

Whether someone’s bringing you Valentine flowers or you have to buy/grow them yourself, here are a few thoughts on true love by a favorite Buddhist, Pema Chodron:

People always say that that’s what they want: they want someone to love them unconditionally, and they want to love unconditionally. We think we’d be delighted to have an unconditional relationship, but that’s only as long as it’s on our own terms. Anyone who has been married or in a long-term relationship knows that challenges present themselves constantly. The challenges are to give in, to surrender our way of doing things, and not to split when we feel threatened. Basically, the challenge is to be genuine–to feel our pounding heart or shaking knees or whatever it is, and stick with it. In a nutshell, very few of us ever allow ourselves to be in a situation that doesn’t have at least a teensy-weensy little exit, a place where we can get out if we have to.

By living without “shoulds” we gradually discover our wakefulness and our confidence. Gradually, without any agenda except to be honest and kind, we assume responsibility for being here in this unpredictable world, in this unique moment, in this precious human body.

Every act counts. Every thought and emotion counts, too. This is all the path we have. Are we, at least, willing to catch ourselves spinning off and do that without embarrassment? Do we at least aspire to not consider ourselves a problem, but simply a pretty typical human being who could at that moment give him/herself a break and stop being so critical and compulsive?

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you might love (yourself) more easily this season of hearts. Make it memorable!

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:

Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

The New Leaf

06 Jan 2016 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: Beauty, fine art nude, gold leaf, mother daughter relationship, red shawl, sisterhood

This 2016, I resolve to

accomplish my resolution of 2015

that I made in 2014.

Anurag Prakash Ray

A delicious new year of possibilities and beginnings, Everyone! Another golden opportunity to see ourselves with more gentle kindness and greater love. What brave adventures will you say YES to in 2016?

In an era when looking younger than our age is the ideal, Carre Otis shares her journey of self acceptance as role model to her young daughters in A Sisterhood of Inner Beauty (on Huffington Post:)

I’ve learned to surround myself with women who lift me up and leave me feeling nurtured rather than drained. I’ve learned to watch my words, too, particularly around my daughters — two of my greatest teachers — doing my best not to gossip about other women or even myself. If they were to hear me put some of those seemingly automatic thoughts on loudspeaker, such as, “I look bad today… Look at those bags under my eyes…” I now understand that it would impact them in a profoundly unhealthy way. Just as young people absorb all kinds of messages from the media, young girls learn what it means to be a woman by watching the older women in their lives.

I’m proud that today, at 43 years old, I’ve come to value the aging process and anticipate growing older with a sense of excitement. I want my daughters to see their mother fearlessly and gracefully claiming her body, her voice and her years. Easier said than done, of course. For me, it’s required discipline: Just as I’m careful about what my daughters are exposed to, I avoid magazines that critique what female celebrities are wearing, what they’re buying and what they look like. I skip right past channels that exploit “cat fights” or reality shows. And I’ve learned to walk away from any real-life judgmental conversations about women. They bring me down. They bring us all down.

And Goddess knows how powerful we can be when we feel good about ourselves! I wish you a most magical year of reveling in your womanhood at any age. Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what new possibilities thrill you.

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman

Thinner Peace

10 Sep 2015 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: body love, diet and fitness, fine art nude, martha beck weight loss, permanent weight loss, weight watchers

I want to weigh less,

not by diet and exercise,

but by acquiring a faulty scale.

Jarod Kintz

Now that both men and women (and, by osmosis, our children) stand firmly united in obsessing about weight, how about a new way of thinking to start the schoolyear? A visualization from Martha Beck on how to keep that weight off for good:

Hold out both your palms. Imagine on one hand a mini-version of your Dictator, that part of you that insists on losing weight, screaming insults that make you feel fat. On the other hand, see a mini-version of your Wild Child, the kid who’s tired, afraid and frightened from being continually assaulted by the Dictator’s attacks and privations. Notice that both mini-yous are essentially good. The Dictators get frantic when you gain weight just as you would if you saw a toddler wandering into traffic. It screams and yells, pushes and forces, because it’s trying to save you from a terrible, fat fate. And your Wild child isn’t remotely malicious, just devastated, confused, and afraid.

Realize that both the Wild Child and the Dictator deserve compassion. Offer it to them by saying this:

You are well.

You are blessed.

You are free.

The wisdom traditions of every culture teach techniques (meditation, prayer) for aligning with this compassionate, observing self.

The antidote to obesity is not starvation, it’s compassion. The opposite of being out of control isn’t being in control, but being in love–not in romance, but as in compassion.

Don’t feel compelled to replace overeating with virtuous work or exercise; instead, make a list of things you love, from watching TV to hanging out with favorite people. Nurturing touch (a pedicure, a massage, sex) is especially effective, since it triggers production of the same opioid hormones as eating.

Stop taking undue responsibility for your spouse’s and children’s feelings.

Become the Watcher. Be kind toward your anxious self. The body is a persistent teacher, always trying to teach us acceptance: of our bodies, our emotions, our situations. Love, in the form of kindness to ourselves, is what never fails.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share how you show compassion towards yourself no matter what.

xoxox

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift of elegant and timeless portraits

with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Thicker Skin

21 Jan 2015 3 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Women's Empowerment Tags: fine art nude, growing thicker skin, Parenting Teens, pearl necklace

The cause of trouble is that

the stupid are cocksure,

while the intelligent

are full of doubt.

Bertrand Russell

“Are we allowed?” my children might wonder aloud amongst themselves and I’d get mixed feelings. Because while parental rule is far easier unchallenged, I quietly applaud when they demonstrate defiance and daring, little or no hesitation in going for what they want, and not cowering in the face of authority. Home is mere practice for life’s realities after all.

With three teens, every day is an exercise in pushing against boundaries, questioning or ignoring rules, and learning to bounce back after a “No”–all this even before considering their experience! I love that their personalities differ and how this helps them figure out whose criticism is constructive, whose is plain one upmanship. Recognizing the types of people you can never please–usually the ones with loud and definitive opinions–eventually teaches us not to let anyone rain on our parade. That even if no one else is, we can always make the choice to take our own side.

I confess I want to pull my hair out listening to them bicker, each one absolutely certain that he or she is right. What saves me is the chuckle I get assuring them they are far too young to sound like an old, married couple.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share who/what helped you to grow thicker skin.

xoxox

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Breaking Free

03 Jan 2015 1 Comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Fine Art Nude, Glamour Portraits Tags: breaking free, fine art nude, New Year Resolutions, self help

Man was born free,

yet everywhere he is in chains.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

What’s a New Year without new beginnings? Same old, same old. Unless you are courageous like this Powerful Goddess who enjoyed a good laugh celebrating the dawn of her new possibilities!

How different would 2015 be if we declared ourselves perfect as the day we were born, unfettered by beliefs, convention and expectations? Fearless except for the innate fear of heights and loud noises. Imagine being guilt free in following your desires, in satiating your ravenous appetites, in heeding the truth you hear in your heart. Imagine not having to explain, rationalize or defend your choices.

What would be different if you paid more attention to synchronicity and all the good life brings? If you decided you are your own fun company, best lover, and doting parent? If you said YES to everything and forgave yourself for anything?

This year, may we all dare something new, stop insisting on being happy all the time, and see ourselves with kinder and more loving eyes.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share how rosy this year can be when you declare everything is right with you!

xoxox

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Beauty and the Beastie

18 Jun 2014 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Movies for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Women's Empowerment Tags: Angelina Jolie movie, fine art nude, Maleficent Movie, Sleeping Beauty Fairytale, Villain and Heroine

Everything has beauty,

but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

“What did you love about Maleficent?,” I asked my daughter after our very happy Father’s Day at the movies without the men.

“She’s very pretty!” she smiled. May we all be as easy to please! Indeed, what’s not to love about a strong and beautiful heroine–albeit a villain, too?

Maleficent is the wronged and misunderstood woman in this revisionist-backstory fairytale. She suffers the deepest betrayal imaginable from the person she loves and trusts the most, the one with whom she shares her first “true love’s” kiss. While it is mainly about bloodlust after being violated and stripped of our power, it is also about the journey of moving forward and making the most of what is. I like how it reverses the pedestrian notion of true love, a necessary expansion of every child’s understanding of what real love can be.

Best of all, I love how it is a cautionary tale against quick judgments and our propensity to take every “victim’s” side. Like King Stefan, it is human nature to choose the version of the story that makes us look good and pitiful. It takes courage to notice that when we feel like “Woe is me!,” there is an angle of culpability we’re not admitting. For in every beauty, there is a beast. And in every villain, a heroine who can save herself.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share the beauty in your beast.

xoxox

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

Sharon@PowerfulGoddess.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Being Thankful

21 Nov 2012 12 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Women's Empowerment Tags: fine art nude, Marilyn Monroe Look, unique personalized gifts for him and her

Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.

Gladys Browyn Stern

For those who don’t care for turkey, how about a more unique fine feathered friend?

While cozying with my daughter in bed this evening, she mused, “I must have done something good in my past life to have the family that I have today.” How did she get so wise, so young? I tell her everyday how lucky I am to have her and my thoughts meander to how richly blessed I am by the women who generously share their beauty and stories here, by blog readers who add sunshine to my days with happy comments, by family, friends and clients who support and inspire me in countless ways. Your praise and appreciation for my art feeds my soul and warms my heart! THANK YOU deeply, truly, sweetly!

xoxox

Sharky

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share whom you are thankful for.

p.s. Extra special thanks to a most thoughtful blog fan, Mountain, who shared this poem of gratitude. They say when you see “Anonymous” or “Author Unknown,” it usually means a woman wrote it. (And as my daughter likes to add with the drama of suspense learned from mystery theater, “OR IS IT?!”)

Be thankful you don’t already have all that you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

PowerfulGoddess@me.com

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Portraits of the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

xoxox

Makeup by Kristen Pickrell

Talent and Greatness

26 Jul 2012 5 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Fine Art Nude, Glamour Portraits Tags: Blake, Butterfly Scarf, Chekhov, fine art nude, Talented Women, Van Gogh

The caterpillar does all the work

but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

George Carlin

Excerpt from Brenda Ueland’s “If You Want to Write”:

Who knows if you are great or talented? No one. We don’t even know what we are or what our lives are like.

Van Gogh wrote: “Who will be in figure painting what Claude Monet is in landscape? I would be heartily glad if a kind of Guy de Maupassant in painting came along to paint light heartedly the beautiful people and things here… But this painter who is to come–I can’t imagine him living in little cafes working away with false teeth as I do.”

Chekhov did not know that he was a great writer. Or to put it another way: van Gogh and Chekhov and all great people knew inwardly that they were something. They had a passionate conviction of their importance, of the life, the fire, the god in them. But they were never sure that others would necessarily see it in them, or that recognition would ever come.

This is the point: everybody in the world has the same conviction of inner importance, of fire, of the god within. The tragedy is that either they stifle their fire by not believing in it and using it, or they try to prove to the world and themselves that they have it, not inwardly and greatly, but externally and egotistically, by money or power or more publicity.

We should all feel as Blake did. He knew about his inner fire and had faith in it. He wrote and drew and painted with enthusiasm and joy what his vision and imagination showed him saying, “He knows himself greatly who never opposes his genius.” He never hindered or discouraged it or let anyone else do so. He cast out all prudence: “Prudence is a rich, ugly, old maid courted by incapacity.” As for moderation, caution, measuring, weighing, and comparing, he said, “I will not reason and compare. My business is to create!”

Work to hone your skills because it is impossible that you have no creative gift. In addition, the only way to make it live and increase it is to use it. Third, you cannot be sure that it is not a great gift.

This is what I urge all of you and myself to do: work and shine eternally.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share your talents that have been wanting expression.

© Sharon Birke

Celebrate the butterfly that you are!

201 697 1947

http://www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

Makeup by Kristen Pickrell

xoxox

What I Love About Men

13 Jun 2012 4 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Relationships Tags: Father's day gift ideas, fine art nude, funny quotes, humor, Rita Rudner, women in comedy

For Father’s Day, tips and quips from Rita Rudner, a favorite comedienne who (st)ages with glamour and style:

1. On gift ideas: If you buy your husband a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband’s early films end with a scream and a flush.

2. On guilt: When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

3. On memory: Men forget everything, women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replays in sports–They’ve already forgotten what happened.

4. On diets: Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

5. When you find yourself wishing he were someone else: No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

6. Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private. In public, they have to know.

7. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

8. On movie selections: Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

9. On planning what to do together: Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

10. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, “Are we going to have sex again?” He said, “Yes, but not with each other.”

11. Don’t take clothing too seriously. I’ve never seen a man walk into a party and say “Oh, my God, get me out of here! I’m so embarrassed–There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo.”

12. Accept compliments graciously. Example: “Mitch, you look great.” Mitch: “Thanks.” On the other side: “Ruth, you look great.” Ruth: “I do? Must be the lighting.”

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to tell us what you love about your man.

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

xoxox

Sitting With Feeling

07 Jun 2012 6 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Mind and Body Tags: curvy women portraits, fine art nude, self acceptance

When something is bothering me,

I write a song that tells my feelings.

Loretta Lynn

In “I Know I’m In There Somewhere,” Helene G. Brenner, PhD, writes:

Feelings, while not facts, are a highly concentrated form of information with their life-affirming story to tell. There are no bad feelings–only feelings that get stuck. And there are no bad thoughts or parts of you–only parts that you have exiled and don’t listen to. No person or authority in the world can tell you what “should be” going on in your heart, nor do you have to prove, to yourself or to anyone else, that you have a “right” to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.

While American culture adulates people who project an unflaggingly positive, cheerful, “can do” spirit, mental (and physical) health doesn’t mean being happy all the time. It’s about being resilient, knowing how to heal and recover from losses and difficulties, being flexible rather than brittle. To do this, we need to allow feelings of hurt, grief, fear or rage to be listened to, not suppressed:

1. Acknowledge. Human beings are wired to run from difficult frightening or uncomfortable feelings. The running can take the form of intellectualizing, minimizing, spacing out, panicking, blowing up or going to pieces. When a feeling is bothering you, notice the sensations you feel in your body and simply sit with them.

2. Being With. Breathe deeply, step back from what you’re doing and notice what is going on inside you, without judgment. Name the feeling as accurately as possible, “I’m feeling furious right now.” Take a full minute to sit with the feeling and the sensations experienced by your body. Notice, observe and describe the elemental feelings that you didn’t know were there, “It’s a big black hole that feels unseen and unloved.” Don’t impede its flow by thinking about how you can try to change or resolve it. Just notice what else shows up.

3. Compassion. Go as close to the bone as you can in telling the exact truth about what you feel. In identifying your feelings, you free yourself to hear them out and learn about them without becoming them. When you acknowledge the truth of your feelings, the grip of the past loosens and you begin to open up to possibilities. In paying attention to what the pure feeling has to tell you, you allow an answer to present itself.

Click on “Leave a Comment” above to share what helps you deal with difficult emotions.

© Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife and Mother

xoxox

And Marilyn Monroe Lives On

01 Jun 2012 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Mind and Body Tags: bombshell icon, fine art nude, Lawrence Schiller photography, Marilyn & Me, Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe look alike

It’s not so much that I’m always late,

it’s just that everybody else is in such a hurry!

Marilyn Monroe

Goddess Gina Bonati was such a joy to play with–a woman who has witnessed life’s ups and downs yet remains mindful of her blessings and comfortable in her skin. When I tell her she reminds me of Marilyn Monroe, she admits it’s been a long time since she last heard this compliment. In her youth, she was often mistaken for the bombshell especially when she dyed her hair blonde! We laugh as she pretends to smoke her cigarette earrings.

In honor of Marilyn’s birthday, June 1st, let’s dare say “I love you, too!” to the parts of our selves that we numb, hide or kill to be pleasing to others. What we believe to be unworthy of acceptance and compassion is what needs these the most.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) and tell us how Marilyn touched your life.

PS A new photo exhibit “Marilyn & Me” by Lawrence Schiller runs until the end of this month in NYC.

© Sharon Birke

Let’s celebrate your life today!

201 697 1947

www.PowerfulGoddess.com

Photography for the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

xoxox

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