Learn from other people’s mistakes.
We will never live long enough
to make them all on our own.
from “Human Engineering” by Harry Myers and Mason M. Roberts
Happy Father’s Day! Llittle Daddy’s girls grow up too quickly into gorgeous women! What life experience would you pass on to our daughters as wisdom on men and relationships?
Prince Charming is not coming. Do you really want to get involved with a dashing self-absorbed Mama’s boy who’s obsessed with slaying dragons and chasing damsels in distress? This can only mean he’s unemployed and is on serious medication to believe dragons exist. You won’t be the first nor last damsel in distress he’ll want to rescue and his thirst for constant adventure won’t make him a happy helper with the kids at home. There is a price to pay for everything so clarify the manly qualities that are most important to you, as well as your deal breakers.
Handle your own money. Set up your bank accounts so an automatic percentage for every dollar you earn goes to a savings account that grows. No matter how attractive credit card companies make the terms of their little plastics, do not spend more than what you have. Most importantly, avoid marrying other people’s debts and drama.
Be happy alone. Whether in a relationship or not, keep time alone sacred and romance yourself each week to enjoy your own company. Even when demanding children start popping into the scene, your primary relationship should always be with yourself.
Great sex ain’t good enough. A relationship needs conversation, laughter and shared values to make it through tough times. Before those sex hormones cloud your thinking–making you obsessive and attached–establish ties that bind common interests outside the bedroom.
Actions speak louder. Falling in love is delusional. When we’re interested in someone, we will interpret other people’s words to skew for intent. If his actions don’t back up what he says, learn from Ariana Grande: Next!
Something is not always better than nothing. How does he make your life better? If you know he’s not good enough, but he’s the only one who has asked you out in awhile, don’t waste your time nor his. Both of you are better off asking other people out whom you may be better matched. Don’t be lazy.
Keep your relationships rich and varied. Many women brush off girlfriends in the thrill of being a couple. Rookie mistake! Maintain breathing room to acknowledge your individuality and he will appreciate your confidence in giving him time to himself and to hang with his boys. Value each other’s disparate experiences and influences that you bring to the table. At the very least, make sure you like his friends and family because you’ll be spending time a lot of time with them, too.
Your sad story is boring. Whatever and whoever shows up in our lives are meant to draw out qualities like wisdom, strength and courage. Find the gift of a breakup, never abandon yourself, and move forward in life with greater self-compassion and understanding. There is never a wasted experience and there is no dignity in being identified as victim forever.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share wisdom from your dad or your own, if you’re a dad yourself. You’re too lucky to be loved by many divine Goddesses!
xoxox
xoxox
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