Not Me Too


You have the power of choice.

But your forfeit it when you imagine you can choose for others.

Choose for yourself.

Harry Browne



The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday


As a mother of both sons and a daughter, I wonder if the polarizing discussion on the rape culture most recently fanned by the “Me Too” movement on social media may be begging the question. There will always be different types of people in this world with a wide range of needs and motivations before considering hormonal influences and physical prowess, what starts out as fun can quickly devolve into something else entirely, individuals will behave differently as a group even before alcohol gets added to the mix, a grand slew of businesses will continue to amass wealth exploiting the sex, drugs and alcohol trifecta, our justice system will be forever slow and sometimes impotent, movies and the media profit from glorifying whoever can up their ratings while heroes, victims and villains will not always be how they appear. Regardless of who stands behind or in front of pointed fingers, how do we educate the young  about their personal sphere of influence and responsibility for choices they make?  How can both men and women enjoy their sexuality without resorting to force or blame? How do we keep our dignity in dealing with people and things beyond our control?

This blog is not the platform for a bottomless debate, so do click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) and share your favorite book that highlights the power of personal choice.



Free Men, Free Women: Sex, Gender and Feminism by Camille Paglia


I Need Your Love–Is That True? by Byron Katie


Asking For It by Kate Harding


When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron



Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with  a Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people:

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© Sharon Birke

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Woman


Come As You Are

Women who love themselves 

are threatening; men who love

real women, more so.

Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth


Excerpts from Dr. Emily Nagoski, PhD’s new release Come As You Are:

A woman’s body and her pleasure belong to her and no one else. It’s possible to say no to intercourse without saying no to all the other things that come with it–the love, the affection, the pleasure, the play. Your own internal experience is a legitimate guide for whether or not you want to try something.

Exposure to media that reinforces body self-criticism increases body dissatisfaction, negative mood, low-self-esteem, and eating disorders. If there were a food that consistently made you sick, you’d stop eating it. So if there’s media that makes you feel more self-critical, stop looking at it.

Pay attention to how magazines, TV shows, and music videos make you feel, and stop buying what makes you feel worse. If it makes you feels worse, it’s likely to interfere with your sexual wellbeing. Even if you’ve been taught to believe that feeling worse about your body “motivates” you to “improve,” that’s a psychological trap you never need to be caught in again.

To stop watering these weeds in your mind:

Take off all your clothes–or as many as you can bring yourself to take off–and look at your entire body in a mirror. Make a list of everything you see that you like.

Of course, your brain will first be filled with all the self-criticism and disgust you’ve been holding on to all these years. Remind yourself that the day you were born, your body was a cause for celebration, for love without condition, and that’s just as true today as it was then.

Do this over and over again. Practice acknowledging the self-critical, judgmental thoughts yet focusing on the self-appreciating thoughts. Celebrate your body as it deserves to be celebrated. Treat it with the respect and affection it deserves. Never say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend or daughter.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (above left) to share what helps you be grateful for the beauty that you are.













Give the women you love the most unique gift of elegant and timeless portraits

with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

 Sharon Birke

201 697 1947

Glamour Portraits of the Goddess in Every Wife & Mother

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