If it is not viral or bacterial, it must be maternal.
Janna Malamud Smith
This Powerful Goddess dedicates her portraits to the mother she almost missed knowing, losing her to illness at a very young age. While many of us have been blessed with more years to enjoy ours, others spend a lifetime wondering why they didn’t get so lucky. Excerpts from There’s Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber:
Many adults keep waiting for their parents to parent them. “I want my mother to love me. I want my father to give me what I need.” The odds are very good that’s not going to happen. If your parents could love you the way you want to be loved, it already would have happened.
Only you know how you want and need to be loved. Only you can love you the way you want and need to be loved. If you can’t or won’t give yourself what you need, how do you suppose someone else, who isn’t nearly so motivated, is going to provide it for you?
Almost nobody wants to grow up. It’s too hard. It’s easier to focus on what’s wrong with us and why we can’t do anything about it. Taking care of ourselves means giving up our wish to be taken care of by someone else.
“I want my mother to do it. She should have done it but she didn’t. I’m going to stay stuck right here until…” Until what? Until she does it? But she can’t do it. And she never could. Consider this: If we can’t do it, how could somebody else have done it?
Living from compassion for ourselves gives us the loving parent we’ve always wanted. Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you’ve been mothered best. Enjoy!
xoxox
xoxox
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As Women’s History Month draws to a close and the next whatever grabs media attention, let us take a moment to clarify the direction of the story we write for ourselves. Akin to painting on a blank canvas, let us choose the colors of the palette we will continue to create with (or no longer,) noticing what is meaningful now to our own definition of personal success. Goddess knows it’s impossible to be true to our hearts when we are continually surrounded by loudmouthed know-it-alls who believe they can dictate what we should feel, think, want or desire, pegging us all in one convenient mold to mindlessly follow the dictates of someone else’s “paint by numbers” sketch.
With gratitude to the brave women who have won many freedoms for our generation, how can we pay attention to our truth as we navigate the wide range of possibilities in work and play? I believe feminism can claim success in achieving women’s liberty only when each woman is respected for her own choices without being measured against an often male standard, unwittingly imposed by fellow women.
To take stock of where you are now and which direction you’d like to keep stepping, have a notepad handy (on your smartphone, why not?) to list what comes to mind this week under these four headings:
What I’m Doing That I Like
What I’m Not Doing That I Wish I Would
What I Want More Of
What I Want Less Of
By the end of the week, read through your lists and figure out how to incorporate more of what you want in your days, starting with whatever you need to make things possible brushstroke by brushstroke. I love Marie Curie’s wisdom in “Nothing in life is to be feared, only understood.” Listening to our hearts must be the beginning of all understanding.
Celebrate each small success that helps us keep on shining from our center! Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) and share what you love best about where you are in your story already. You are more than perfect and wonderful!
xoxox
xoxox
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of elegant and timeless portraits with a
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Fortunately for the women and girls of our generation, we stand on the shoulders of courageous heroines–many unsung–who have paved the path of our many liberties. Add to this list of books on the less known versions of Herstory.
The Monopolistsby Mary Pilon. The ubiquitous Monopoly game, widely attributed to Charles Darrow who sold the rights to Parker Brothers in 1935, was designed 31 years earlier by Elizabeth Magie as The Landlord’s Game to help people understand the risks monopolies pose to society.
Who Cooked The Last Supper? Rosalind Miles retells history from woman’s point of view since we can’t blame the all male cast of writers of the Bible and early printed texts for making themselves the star heroes.
Clementine, The Life of Mrs. Winston Churchillby Sonia Purnell. Women get much practice at diplomacy running a home and, fortunately for socially obtuse men like Winston Churchill, he had a devoted advocate and private coach in his wife to overcome both personal and political obstacles.
Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly on the untold story of black women mathematicians who helped the U.S. win the Space Race.
Headstrong by Rachel Swaby on 52 women who changed science and the world with important breakthroughs in the fields of medicine, biology and the environment, genetics and development, physics, earth and stars, mathematics and technology, and invention.
Romantic Outlaws by Charlotte Gordon. A groundbreaking dual biography brings to life a pioneering English feminist and the daughter she never knew. Mary Wollstonecraft and Mary Shelley were outliers of their time, precursors of the modern women.
Women In The Shadows by Edith Borchardt. Biographies of five brilliant and talented women born in the Austro-Hungarian Empire: Mileva Einstein-Marić, Margarete Jeanne Trakl, Lise Meitner, Milena Jesenská, and Margarete Schütte-Lihotzky. A translation of Charles S. Chiu’s tribute to these women’s accomplishments, which were overshadowed by those of the famous men in their lives.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your favorite book that casts a feminine light on the stories we shall tell the future generation.
xoxox
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of elegant and timeless portraits with a
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for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!
March is as good a month as any to honor the achievements of notable women that shaped history. How differently would our cultures be if women and minorities were properly represented among the authors of the Bible and world civilization; were counted among the first students of universities and politics; were given proper pay and respect for all the (invisible) work that is required of the glue that keeps family and society together? These are but a few things we can never know so let’s strive to find every occasion to pay tribute to game changers who have downplayed their power behind the scenes, subtly provided the light that allowed others to travel greater paths than her own, or allowed others to brazenly usurp credit for whatever reason. Next blog will be a list of some fun books on fabulous women ranging in popularity in the history we know. Meanwhile, keep an eye out for everyday heroines whose life stories may never get published.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what you love best about your true to life favorite heroine.
xoxox
xoxox
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Valentine’s is the famous feast day of two popular saints: Hershey’s (chocolate) and Hallmark (greeting cards). While it is not a big deal in France as it is in the United States, the seaside city of Deauville celebrated this day in 2010 with a reenactment of an old romance film: A Man and A Woman by director Claude Lelouch. The movie ends with the tormented family man and a young woman (cliche, I know) finally reuniting on the beach. They run towards each other with arms outstretched, they hug, he lifts and twirls her in the air. We don’t see them kiss but we assume they will. Director Lelouch recaptured the magic with a couple hundred people–from teens to grandparents–some of whom drove hours to be there. The men lined up facing the women and at this eclectic group’s third try, Director Lelouch asked them to run towards someone they didn’t know.
Wouldn’t this be such a fun international tradition?
Until it is, I dedicate this Valentine to all who long for love to find them, whether too young to date, simply single or even those in a stale relationship. I want to know how you want to be loved and adored. Write a detailed description of all the small acts of kindness, thoughtfulness and caring that you want a lover to do for you. Perhaps an erotic love letter or poem, an finely prepared gourmet meal, a small present that makes your heart flutter, a sunset stroll, a candlelit bath with bubbles of the bottled kind… Then make this Valentine’s Day extra unique by doing what’s on your list for yourself.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you remember that you are the source of the truest love in all the world. Other people may come and go in our lives, but you, Dear One, should never abandon yourself. Ever! And have the happiest of heart days always!
xoxox
xoxox
Give the women you love the most unique gift
of elegant and timeless portraits with a
Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate
for a most memorable two hour photo shoot of up to three people!
Growing up among cousins is a gift I wish I could give my own brood. While I have fond memories of this in my childhood, I look back as an adult and wonder, “How did my aunts, uncles, and grandparents navigate the politics of living together?” This Powerful Goddess is so blessed by her constant charm, beauty, and a super tight-knit extended family. I tell my young adults: That’s the kind of family you want to marry!
What is their magic?
We put our best face forward, stretch patience an inch farther, and find that extra ounce of consideration to bite our tongue around strangers. Yet after a work day wearing the mask of diplomacy around colleagues and clients, some come home to snap at whoever greets them at the door, forgetting that this person has had a long day, too.
When we are around our supposed loved ones, we feel way too comfortable to be ourselves and toss compassion to the wind. Our lives are so intertwined with theirs that we sometimes confuse their choices as personal affront. Who left this cup in the sink I just emptied again?!!! It is scary knowing that they see all of who we are, they’ve seen us at our worst, and they know the precise combination of buttons to push us over the edge. Then there’s our human tendency to slack off and stop trying even as we expect these same people to hang around us in tough times.
Venting, while convenient in the moment, will naturally corrode any relationship over time. Pressing the pause button instead of exploding? There’s a gift we all can use more of! If nobody is in the mood to see the situation from a different perspective, take a deep breath, go for a walk in the woods, and do what you need to distract and reboot. Later, when everyone’s in a more receptive mood, preferably well-fed and rested, explain to the person how you feel when they act a certain way and what you prefer they say/do next time instead.
While who we are and whom we live with may already be baked in personalities, I hold on to the hope that each time I take a deeper breath and bite my tongue a bit shorter, the next generation might be watching and learning how to make a habit of compassion and assume the best of intentions in the closest of their relationships. Self-compassion and empathy are essential ingredients in this magic brew.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you stay cool and collected when it’s dark and stormy indoors or out.
A most beautiful and tender welcome to 2019! I shall leave resolutions for others to make and break. Instead, I extend this invitation for all to embrace the new year with a gentle remembering and a return to the womb of woman.
Let us remember the moment of our birth, the time of owning nothing yet knowing that all is well. Remember screaming loudly for our desires without worry that they might cause shame, guilt or regret. Remember not knowing that there could be some standard or measurement more correct than our own, that there can be separation between us and them, between our bodies, our planet and the heavens. Remember not knowing that we can possibly be unworthy.
Let us take this moment to remember when we knew we are true love itself, that all of who we are is good, whole and complete without missing or undesirable parts. Let us remember why we have chosen to be a light on Earth, to be with the people who are in our lives right now, and to welcome those we wish to add to our circle of care and influence. Let us recognize and own once more our power to inhabit our bodies and desires fully, to choose peace, love, action, to keep an eye on the big picture, to remember that what seems to good or bad today may yet prove to be its inverse down the road.
While we may appear to be an inconsequential drop in the very wide ripple of consciousness and consequence, let us remember that we are like leaven unto bread and we make a difference anyhow, no matter how bare our little lives may seem.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what makes you feel grounded and powerful. Continued courage in your journey and thank you so much for loving on!
I want to thank all the people who walked into my life
and made it outstanding,
and the people who walked out of it
and made it fantastic.
Anonymous
To bring 2018 to a resounding close, nothing beats making a list of what I’m grateful for. I share this tradition with my family using pen and paper on New Year’s Eve because a Gratitude Journalmakes it easy to remember all the good for posterity. It’s also handy for a quick pick-me-up in moments of feeling down-dooby-doo-down-down.
Among my proudest moments this year was witnessing my teens act like adults who bring something to the table, chip in and help out without being asked. I was extra proud overhearing the one who didn’t bother with presents last year ask his siblings first, “What do you want for Christmas, Guys?” I’m taking this as a sign I can retire from being Santa–though I doubt I’ll ever want to stop wrapping pretty things with red bows.
I am honored by the kind and loving women who made the experience of creating the portraits shared on this blog a true pleasure! I am grateful for the devoted blog fans who spoil me with sweet comments, gifts and bright ideas. I am blessed with great health, enduring love, and a world mostly at peace, by people who inspire me with their happy hearts and laughter, pride in their work, their gentle self acceptance. I admire those who persist and commit to what/whom they love even when that doesn’t love them back with equal passion, those who hang on to dignity and grace through hard times refusing to be identified as victim. I thank Arianna Grande for inspiring the young with her positive spin on heartbreak with the song Thank U, Next! (as soon as I got over my older generation shock at a word I deem unnecessary in the vocabulary of a beautiful woman. 😉 )
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what you’re extra grateful for this year. Thank you so much for sharing this journey with me and have the merriest Ho Ho Ho!
‘Tis that season for the Nutcracker! Helen Mirren, one of the actresses I adore for style, substance, and fearlessness, has had a career spanning longer than my time on this earth. She continues to be hot commodity at 73 with Oscar winning roles ranging from Shakespeare, Hitchcock, sexpot, detective, grand dame, royalty and tough as nails villain in Disney’s latest The Nutcracker and the Four Realms.
For a woman who has always drawn to a challenge, someone so seasoned and accomplished, you’d probably never imagine her saying “I consider myself a scaredy cat” but she admits, “I’m constantly nervous… always worried that I’m not going to do it right. But you have to just jump and then the adrenaline kicks in.” (Harper’s Bazaar October 2018) How necessary for the young to hear such honesty! The rest of us easily assume we are the only ones capable of feeling inadequate and afraid.
I love opulence, period costume and strong women so I’m very much looking forward to seeing her next year as Catherine the Great on HBO.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your favorite woman of great style, substance, and a tough nut to crack.
Speaking of ageless glamour, meet the grandmother I want to be. Maye Musk, the 70 year old mother of SpaceX billionaire founder Elon Musk, still graces fashion magazines as a model, as the face of CoverGirland a major airline, and has appeared in Beyonce’s music video Haunted.
But her past life as a single mother of three was very far removed from her lifestyle today, sharing many hardships of working women struggling to make ends meet. They had to live with peeling wallpaper and no furniture so that when she finally bought their first computer, Elon had to work on the floor with it. Their weekly treat of red meat was courtesy of a friend’s kindness and Maye’s foresight and ingenuity in splitting the monthly gift of a roast into four parts.
I adore women who pack their own sunshine in style through thick and thin. Forever hip, check out her instagram @mayemusk.and click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share the grandmother you want to be when you grow up.
What’s better than a beautiful loving daughter to celebrate you on Mother’s Day? Having two daughters–or more!
One day when I’m a wise old owl, I hope to gather disparate notes on life and human nature to bequeath my granddaughters. For now, I’m busy biting my tongue being diplomatic around teens, praying for the strength to hang on to my charm and sense of humor until they produce those grandchildren. Then I’ll be busy keeping a straight face as I watch them take their turn with the joys of parenting–aka Payback Time!
Nothing that’s handed to you on a silver platter is worth having. And nothing worth having will be handed to you. Fight for what you want.
If you have to fight, hit first. And hit hard.
There is no such thing as having too much fun.
Fall in love as often as you can. Fall in love with songs, with books, with places, and fall in love with people. But above all, fall in love with yourself.
Don’t get into a relationship because you don’t like being single.
A relationship can only end two ways: You will either break up with that person or marry him. Don’t waste your time with someone unless you can accept both outcomes.
While drunk, don’t give your number to anyone you wouldn’t talk to when sober.
When in doubt, don’t text him. But don’t be afraid of texting him once in a while.
When people act like they don’t care about you, believe them.
If he doesn’t accept you for who you are and he makes you cry, walk away.
You were lovely long before he loved you. You will be lovely after that, too.
Mondays are good days. Maybe it’s your routine that sucks.
There is a big difference between listening and being quiet while waiting for your turn to talk.
Running away from your feelings is a race you will never win.
If I repeated the same joke ten times in a row, you wouldn’t laugh at it after a few times. There is no reason for you to cry over and over again for the same reason.
Your friends will give you all sorts of advice. Listen to them, take their point of view into consideration, then do whatever you want. Because your friends are great, but you need to make your own mistakes and learn from every single one.
If you like that dress, wear it. Life is too short to choose depending on other people’s opinions.
If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
When someone does something wrong, don’t forget everything they did right.
Travel as often as you can.
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself.
People can only stab you in the back if you hand them the knife.
Always do the right thing. And when you can’t, convince yourself that what you did was the right thing.
Actions speak louder than words. But (typed) words are pretty loud, too.
It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.
Painted nails and red lipstick can immensely improve your mood.
Own a leather jacket and wear it out every time you want to explore your inner rebel.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what you’ll want to pass on to your granddaughters. Forever grateful to the women who have mothered us and to daughters who make everyday Mother’s Day!
This week’s weather has officially done away with winter and please let’s not start complaining about the heat because this is nothing close to how summer gets in Asia. April and May are the warmest months in that region of simply ‘dry or wet’ seasons and ‘hot-hotter-hottest.’ So if you’re keen on heading that way this year, wait after the cooling monsoon rains blow off some of the heat. And if you must travel solo, tours like National Geographic Adventures will make sure you’ll have the best time and never feel like you’re traveling alone.
Here’s a glimpse of the fun I had in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia with an active and erudite group of engineers, doctors and lawyers:
Hue, Vietnam
Stopping to hang with locals going about their day as we bike through town and rice paddies. Whatever calories we expended was well rewarded with great meals including a very special private lunch at Tha Om, a century old garden house made from local timber that didn’t require the use of a single nail.
Indochina Sails, Ha Long Bay
Cruise Ha Long Bay on a traditional-style wooden junk boat. Kayak around karst formations, visit caves and local fishermen’s boathouses. Just to be on the safe side, I waited until our cruise was about to dock before attempting this Titanic themed shot.
So grateful to our petite yet fearless tour leader who was completely unflappable and generous with her loving kindness and Buddhist wisdom.
Waterfalls at Luang Prabang, Laos
Luang Prabang is a World Heritage site chosen by an ancient king for the protection provided by its surrounding hills, rivers and mountains. It sits at the junction of the Mekong and Nam Khan Rivers.
We spent a day visiting some Buddhist shrines then joined a local family for a Buddhist Baci ceremony followed by dinner in their home.
Another day we hiked up a hill, stopping by the school of a Khmu village to play with the children and with its traditional houses, water buffalo and farm animals, the farmers and master blacksmiths dealing with their daily tasks. We wound up at Ban Thapene, a village with a butterfly parkfounded by this courageous Dutch couple who seek to educate children on the importance of small bugs and insects in the world’s ecological balance.
I made an exception to my religion of waking up as late as possible and rose before the sun to catch the enchanting sight of hundreds of saffron-robed monks walking silently through town to collect offerings. Even more impressive–since I’d rather not be in the kitchen–are those who have committed years of waking even earlier than these monks to cook hot food to offer them.
Ancient Temples in Siem Reap, Cambodia
Explore one of the most ancient temple sites in the region: the Roluos Group. Bike around the countryside and make a stop at local house to enjoy snacks and meet the locals. My favorite temple is the ancient Ta ProhmMonastery, where humongous tree roots weave their way through the temple walls—hence the “Jungle Temple” nickname and more popularly “Tomb Raider temple” after Angelina Jolie’s movie.
Angkor Wat is the Times Square of Cambodia and you’ll find yourself in traffic at 4:00 am in the morning as tourists hurry to snag a prime spot for catching the sunrise behind the temple. The vernal equinox on March 22 is THE DAY to see the sun rise exactly at the center point of the highest temple spire. Genius math for such ancient architecture!
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what’s on your travel bucket list.
What gets you going in the morning? Coffee doesn’t do it for me as well as the pleasure of walking into my closet mulling over the infinite possibilities of “What shall I wear today?” When the weather is dreary and my eyes refuse to open or my To Do list is heavy on things I’d rather not do, it is taking the time to dress well that picks up my mood.
In the age of ripped jeans and athleisure, why deny the power of dressing well that automatically commands respect and authority–even from ourselves?
Clothing and posture are the primary requisites for a good first impression. They speak volumes before you say a word. In presentations and social situations, what you wear and how you groom yourself influences how your message is received. Without being consciously aware why, people will pay attention and trust you when you’re respectably dressed and carry yourself with confidence.
This is the psychology behind advertising (backed my millions of dollars in marketing research) that prefers white lab coats for actors to wear. We may know they’re actors, but in looking the part of a scientist or doctor whom we associate with intelligence and research, they subconsciously gain our confidence for the product they endorse. Following this logic–and you know I’m no prude–it baffles me why women get indignant if they’re treated with less chivalry when they dress in the skimpiest dresses with plunging décolletage. Duh?!
How you dress yourself changes who you are. It complements the value of what you have to say to those who are watching and listening. You tend to perform better when the bar is raised and your audience is unknowingly primed to agree that you deserve to perform better. Regardless of what you do and whom you work for, if you’re well dressed, you make yourself useful and ready to represent business by being presentable to step into a meeting with a client, customer, or supervisor at a moment’s notice.
Whether you want to get a promotion at work or the chance for an upgrade on your next flight, talk your way out of a traffic ticket, or start a worldwide movement, the way you dress and present yourself plays a major role. We can waste our breath arguing over this in the age of sweatpants and casual Fridays, but wouldn’t it be easier to use this understanding of human nature to your advantage?
When life feels unfair, my closet is a haven of true democracy and justice. Solids mingle with prints of all stripes, a wide swath of colors and hemlines to remedy any mood, and there is always the chance of catching myself smile at the sight of a familiar purse, dress or accessory that conjures happy memories of far away travels, shared meals, and past adventures. The assumption that a well-dressed woman should be treated with respect is best tested by the person you see in the mirror.
Related blog posts:
Stacy London: Top Tips for Dressing for Your Career
Instead of another selfie, how fun would it be to recreate your favorite iconic artwork? Harper’s Bazaar November 2017 features five unstoppable and trailblazing models in a tableau of iconic paintings. (Photographs by Pari Dukovic/Fashion Editor Anna Trevelyan)
Winnie Harlow as Mona Lisa
The Canadian model of Jamaican descent (above) helped demystify the skin pigmentation condition vitiligo. She knows what it’s like to have strangers make assumptions based solely on appearance.
Candace Huffine in The Birth of Venus
A top plus size model, Candace Huffine felt a special connection to the painting of the Roman goddess of love since she first set eyes on it as a teen. For her, the fashion world’s expanding parameters are merely a return to form, “I have a body like Venus, and it’s well past time we acknowledge this is a body type that’s always been beautiful.”
Hari Nef as Madame X
Transgender model and actress Hair New is an emblem of contradiction. In highschool, she wrote a paper on John Singer Sargetn’s famous woman in black and made one of her first trips to New York just to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see this painting.
Erika Linder as Egon Schiele
Androgynous sexuality is Swedish model Erika Linder’s commonality with the Austrian painter Egon Schiele. This is her interpretation of Schiele’s Self Portrait With Peacock Waistcoaat. Erika continues to build her career as a menswear model.
Halima Aden in Girl With a Pearl Earring
As the first hijab-wearing Muslim model signed to a major agency, showing even a little sliver of skin and her pierced ears was something new for Halima Aden. The young woman in Dutch master Johannes Vermeer’s Girl With a Pearl Earring appears seductive precisely because of her restraint.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your favorite iconic artwork.
Imagine if every Santa said “No, thanks!” to doing all the things people take for granted, can’t be bothered to do, or simply deride: planning gatherings, putting up holiday decor, shopping and wrapping presents, sending holiday cards, cooking, hosting, and cleaning up after parties, stroking egos, playing diplomat between factions and generations, being the invisible glue that binds family and friends together?
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how much more interesting the year might get if a Santa this hot promises to (teach you how to) whip naughty into nice?
Keep doing the all the good you do and the warmest of divine holiday blessings to you and your beloveds. Ho-Ho-Ho!
Can’t wait for my teen to drag me to watch Wonder Woman! In fact, I might take a hint from Olivia Munn (quote above) and wear a power costume underneath my everyday clothes.
This most popular female comic-book action hero of all time has given Superman and Batman a run for their capes through seven decades of fame. Like a proper superhero, she has a secret identity. Unlike other superheroes, her history is a secret.
The veil that has shrouded Wonder Woman’s past hides beneath it a crucial story about comic books, censorship and feminism. As her creator put it, “Frankly, Wonder Woman is psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who, I believe, should rule the world.” Read the full article onThe Surprising Origin Story of Wonder Woman.
And enjoy the collection of powerful women on this page by my favorite comics illustrator, Leinil Francis Yu on Facebook and Twitter @LeinilYu.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your favorite super powers!
xoxox
Cable and A Domino by Leinil Francis Yu
Captain Marvel by Leinil Francis Yu
Wolverine by Leinil Francis Yu
Star Wars’ Princess Leah by Leinil Francis Yu
xoxox
Give the women you love the most unique gift
of elegant and timeless portraits
with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:
An ancient soul with a powerful voice that resonates long after her passing, Maya Angelou blessed this world on April 4, 1928, sharing what wisdom she gathered over her difficult childhood yet joy filled life:
Just do right
Though it may not be expedient or profitable, doing so will satisfy your soul and make the world better right where you are.
Be courageous
Without courage you can’t consistently be kind, fair, humane or generous.
Love yourself
Another way of saying this African proverb “Be careful when a naked person offer you his shirt.”
Laugh
If you don’t laugh, you will lose your sense of humor and die of self-defense.
Be a blessing
Maya confessed, “I’ve had a lot of clouds in my life, but I’ve had so many rainbows in those clouds… Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”
Turn struggle into triumph
The 7 year old Maya had to identify her rapist who was soon found kicked to death by protective adults. Blaming herself of this, she chose not to speak a word for the next five years, spending this period completely immersed in books.
You are talented
Use what you’ve got for good.
Learn to say NO!
Keep a place within you that is clean, sacred and inviolate.
Always do your best
If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love.
Keep Rising
The video below memorializes her in her poem And Still I Rise
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share which woman has been a rainbow to your cloud.
xoxox
Photos on this page courtesy of Google Images
xoxox
Give the women you love the most unique gift
of elegant and timeless portraits
with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:
One of the most influential voices of our time, Maya Angelou led a fulfilling life to a ripe old age despite a traumatic setback very early in her childhood. She inspired many through her autobiographies, poetry, and work as a civil rights activist. From her collection published as And Still I Rise, this poem Phenomenal Woman reminds us that looks need not be our source of confidence:
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your favorite poem that invites your inner powers to come out and play.
xoxox
xoxox
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In celebration of Women’s History Month, I give thanks to all whose bodies have given comfort to babes and lovers, who pondered “What’s the point of all this?” while humbly working second and third shifts after taking care of their families without a paycheck, stayed vigilant through a beloved’s illness, felt guilty for everything that goes wrong in her world, despaired at her thighs and wrinkles, whose own toils never made it to the history books that her own children and grandchildren study, who labored without recognition in the kitchen or the backrooms of offices and factories and volunteered elsewhere, who uprooted themselves for a fresh start, who endured the hell years of raising teens–at times alone, maintained her dignity despite society’s double standards, loved beyond human understanding, and battled the darkness or surrendered to it after or without a fight.
This world is more joyful, meaningful and all the more beautiful because you lived. Thank you for persisting to show up no matter what, for being the pillar of strength and making the most of what you’ve got, for adding laughter, love and tenderness to our days (and nights.) You matter way beyond words and you are inspiration to the rest of us making the journey!
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your tribute to the women in your life–include yourself!
xoxox
xoxox
Give the women you love the most unique gift
of elegant and timeless portraits
with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:
Esther Perel, sex and relationship therapist and author of Mating in Captivity, says we often confuse love as a state of enthusiasm. “To love” is a verb, and verbs are dynamic implying action, intention, and responsibility. If our ability to love ourselves well determines our success in loving another, what can these verbs mean for our relationships?
To Give. Is it better to give what we believe the other person should have or what that person wants? True giving is being attuned to someone’s needs, to make that person feel special and that they matter. Assuming your partner is not a self-absorbed despot, giving from a place of confidence and generosity frees us from the chains of expecting acknowledgement or getting something in return. With this we allow ourselves the freedom to feel complete joy and empowered by a simple action. Giving when we’re at low points of our lives can also be therapeutic, too, lifting up our own spirits when we channel our energy towards seeking out those who need our help most. Of course, giving to ourselves first is essential to replenish the well.
To Receive. How do you respond to a compliment or a kindness? If you feel obligated to respond in kind or wonder what that other person wants in return from you, take a moment to feel worthy and simply say “Thank you.” Being a gracious receiver is a gift in itself. Allowing others to give to us lets them feel good about themselves, too.
To Take. Women can learn a few things from male assertiveness and entitlement. Assertiveness is what we need to land jobs, get a better deal in negotiations, and evolve our (sexual) relationships. Since only you know what pleases you best, share that knowledge with your partner. We save ourselves a whole lot of grief when we surrender to the reality that mind reading is not a very common talent.
To Refuse. From the kitchen, the boardroom and the bedroom, women do things to please others that they don’t necessarily want to do and end up not liking themselves for it. Say no without closing possibilities by giving options and alternatives. If establishing boundaries is essential for a healthy relationship, should it be a stretch to say “I feel free to be speak my mind around him?”
To Play. Playing lets you be creative and dream together, circumventing the hardships of reality. The ability to laugh and play strengthens a couple’s bond, especially amidst the incessant demands of parenting. Being silly, mischievous and unpredictable is a big factor in keeping your sex life fun. The freedom to be unselfconscious around someone is empowering. When you feel like you’re in a stalemate, think of ways to create happy memories and new adventures together. Great for couples, but even more necessary around moody teens. I grew up hearing “The family that prays together, stays together.” As a mom, I now realize “The family that plays together, stays together” is big.
Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what the sweetest Valentine verb means to you!
xoxox
xoxox
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of elegant and timeless portraits
with a Powerful Goddess portrait session Gift Certificate:
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