Best Books for Women | Powerful Goddess Portraits

Me And My Shadow

16 Sep 2018 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits Tags: black and white protraits, Meditation for women, shadow quote

The eye is always caught by light

but shadows

have more to say.

Gregory Maguire

I’m baaaaack! Hope you didn’t miss me too much while I had the grandest summer being inspired by other ways of thinking, seeing and being in Europe. My shadow could barely keep up with my nonstop packing, unpacking, getting up bright and early to see the next town or city’s delights. Despite my aversion to the diet of worms, I must concede that without the early bird schedule of our tour group’s itinerary, I would have easily missed half of what we saw/did if I were left to my own devices.

It was the kind of vacation that needs a “real” vacation afterwards, the kind where you can simply lay comatose on a beach and catch up with peace and quiet. To stay grounded anytime anyplace, here’s an excerpt from Pema Chodron‘s When Things Fall Apart:

One of the best practices for everyday living when we don’t have much time for meditation is to notice our opinions. When we are doing sitting meditation, part of the technique is to become aware of our thoughts. Then, without judgment, without calling them right or wrong, we simply acknowledge that we are thinking. It’s an exercise in nonaggression toward ourselves. it is also an exercise in bringing out our intelligence: seeing that we’re just thinking, but with no attached hope or fear, praise or blame.

Opinions are opinions, nothing more or less. We can begin to notice them, and we can begin to label them as opinions, just as we label thoughts as thoughts. By this simple exercise we are introduced to the notion of agelessness. All ego really is, is our opinions, which we take to be solid, real and the absolute truth about how things are. We don’t have to make these opinions go away, and we don’t have to criticize ourselves for having them. We could just notice what we say to ourselves and see how so much of it is just our particular take on reality which may or may not be shared by other people.

Notice your opinions. If you find yourself becoming aggressive about them, notice that. If you find yourself being nonaggressive, notice that. Cultivating a mind that does not grasp at right and wrong, you will find a fresh state of being.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you make peace with your shadow.

xoxox

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Out Of Office

08 Aug 2018 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Mother Daughter Relationship Tags: Don't Blame Mother book, Mother Daughter love, Summer fashion, White tassel dress

I want a vacation

so long

I forget all my passwords.

@CapGenius

This divine summer is slipping away oh so quickly! A woman who is 24/7/365 in the heat, constantly on call for work and her family’s never ending demands better make time to kick off her shoes, get away from it all and pay attention to her inner wild woman. For it is only in nurturing her sacred connection with the earth that she can heed its eternal wisdom, the well she draws upon for the strength and courage she needs to guide her son(s) and daughter(s) through the thicket of life.

Excerpt from Paula Caplan’s Don’t Blame Mother:

Remember the value of silence and time: allow both your daughter and yourself periods of silence during which to consider what you have heard, how you feel, and what you want to do about it. Many unnecessary troubles come from feeling we have to rush to respond to criticism or a request. Both daughters and mothers need to ask for time to be silent, time to wait, time to think and feel things through before responding. Asking for silence or time is a way to show respect for each other, a way of saying, “Making our relationship better matters enough to me that I want to accord it time and energy.” Since we live in a culture that values quick comebacks and snappy patter, we don’t often think to ask for time, but learning to do so is invaluable in working out problems in relationships.

It is important to talk first to other women partly to rehearse what we want to say or ask for, partly to learn that our feelings are not unique or weird, and partly to brainstorm. This included hearing out how other women feel about their mothers, how those feelings have changed and what changed them, and how other women feel about being mothers.

Fundamentally, most of us want to be less angry, want to feel closer and more relaxed in our relationships. But we lose sight of this goal because we easily get caught up in laying blame or withdrawing altogether. Saying and acknowledging this is absolutely crucial, because it puts you and your mother in the same team.

Why is knowing you’re on the same side so important? Because we become defensive or paranoid if we believe that the other person wants to hurt us or to protect herself no matter the cost to us. Once a daughter commits to improving her relationship with her mother, her mother is likely to sense that commitment even before the daughter talks about it. If mother and daughter both want to improve their relationship, their shared vision of a better future can take them a long way. Hanging on to the knowledge of your commitment to this goal will help your through rough times, the struggles and intermittent backsliding.

Sage advice for any relationship, no?! Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what has helped strengthen your mother daughter bond. A very hot birthday to this earthy Goddess whose life has been blessed by adoring parents!

And as the old song goes, “I’ll see you in September when summer is gone…”

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

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Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

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201 697 1947

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Best Books for Your Beach Bag 2018

25 Jun 2018 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, family vacation, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: beach fiction, Kindle summer books 2018, Memoirs for women, New York Times Bestsellers, summer reading 2018

At the beach one summer, my wife remarked: ‘Boy, are you skinny!’

I replied: ‘Honey, it’s minor defects like this

that keeps me from getting a better wife.’

Lou Holtz

Heat is upon us and I see beach! What’ll be in your tote for whiling away the hours as you bake the perfect tan?

The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand

A murder mystery by the queen of summer beach reads. Over all weddings in Nantucket this season, the Otis-Winbury wedding promises to be the event of the summer. That is, until the maid of honor is found dead the morning of the special day. Soon, everyone is a suspect, and they’ve all got something to hide.

The Lost Family by Jenna Blum

Meet Peter Rashkin in 1965 Manhattan, the handsome bachelor owner and head chef of the popular restaurant, Masha’s. He is also a survivor of Auschwitz, where his wife and daughters died. When an up-and-coming model catches his eye, they begin a whirlwind romance. But that’s just where the story begins. Spanning three decades, The Lost Family is a beautiful story about love, family, and the legacy of loss and how it defines us.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

A refreshing debut novel that proves one thing: there’s not enough data in the world to predict what will make your heart tick.

Stella Lane comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases–a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with, and way less experience in the dating department than the average thirty-year-old. It doesn’t help that Stella has Asperger’s and French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. Her conclusion: she needs lots of practice–with a professional. Which is why she hires escort Michael Phan.

Maeve in America: Essays by a Girl from Somewhere Else by Maeve Higgins

Irish comedienne Maeve Higgins’s wickedly funny collection of 14 essays deliver on her promise to reach beyond the self while addressing such topics as Rent the Runway, a designer-clothes rental service, and the Muslim travel ban with incisive humor and deep humility. In her exceptional essay, “Pen as Gun,” about teaching a comedy workshop in Iraq, questions that begin with the self give rise to political and global considerations: “What if comedy, and creativity, these nebulous things I’ve devoted all these years to, are, in the grand scheme of things, unhelpful? Or even pointless?” Higgins has the rare gift of being able to meaningfully engage with politics and social ills while remaining legitimately funny.

A Bite Sized History of France: Gastronomic Tales of Revolution, War, and Enlightenment by Stéphane Hénaut and Jeni Mitchell

For the Francophile and travel bug, pack this one for the road — or if you’re simply hungry. Nothing better than relating the history of French food and wine with its history from ancient times through today.

Fly Girls: How Five Daring Women Defied All Odds and Made Aviation History by Keith O-Brien

Let’s call it the Hidden Figures rule: If there’s a part of the past you thought was exclusively male, you’re probably wrong. Case in point are these stories of Amelia Earhart and other female pilots who fought to fly.

The Dependents by Katharine Dion

How well do you really know your partner? After 50 years of marriage, Gene suddenly loses his wife, Maida. When their grown daughter returns home, old memories resurface and Gene’s long-held narrative of his own family’s life begins to unravel. Must we bridge the chasm between what makes us happy believing and what we ought to know as truth?

Dreams of Falling by Karen White

Three lifelong best friends. One dark secret that will reverberate for generations to come. Told in multiple timelines of the present and the past, this is Southern fiction at its best. A novel about dreams, friendship, and family that makes you long for home.

Number One Chinese Restaurant by Lillian Li

Darkly funny, Number One Chinese Restaurant looks beyond red tablecloths and silkscreen murals to share an unforgettable story about youth and aging, parents and children, and all the ways that our families destroy us while also keeping us grounded and alive.

Fight No More by Lydia Millet

In her first story collection since Love in Infant Monkeys (a Pulitzer Prize finalist), Lydia Millet explores what it means to be home. Nina, a lonely real-estate broker estranged from her only relative, is at the center of a web of stories connecting fractured communities and families. She moves through the houses of L.A.’s wealthy elite and finds men and women both crass and tender, vicious and desperate. With wit and intellect, Millet offers profound insight into human behavior from the ordinary to the bizarre: strong-minded girls are beset by the helpless, myopic executives are tormented by their employees, and beastly men do beastly things.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your reading list recommendations here. Our beach bag is ever grateful to the Kindle!

xoxox

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201 697 1947

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For the Brave and Brokenhearted

15 Apr 2018 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits Tags: #metoo, Brene Brown Rising Strong book, courage poem, courage quote, poem for women

To truly laugh,

you must be able to take your pain

and play with it.

Charlie Chaplin

In 1862, April 16 went down US History as Emancipation Day, an Act by good old Abe to abolish slavery. Yet headlines to this day reveal that we, free citizens of a great country, prefer to enslave ourselves to stories of victimhood. More power to those who bravely make the best of whatever life deals them, owning their power to move forward and choose how their story unfolds, even as the weather insists on Winter when the calendar says it’s long overdue for Spring.

This poem by Nayyirah Waheed inspired the title of Brene Brown‘s book Rising Strong:

Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted

There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers
Than those of us who are willing to fall
Because we have learned how to rise

With skinned knees and bruised hearts;
We choose owning our stories of struggle,
Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.

When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we run from struggle, we are never free.
So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.

We will not be characters in our stories.
Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.

We are the authors of our lives.
We write our own daring endings.

We craft love from heartbreak,
Compassion from shame,
Grace from disappointment,
Courage from failure.

Showing up is our power.
Story is our way home.
Truth is our song.
We are the brave and brokenhearted.
We are rising strong.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you’d write your own daring ending.

xoxox

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Fifty Plus Fools

01 Apr 2018 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Culture and Arts, Glamour Portraits Tags: April Fools pranks, art forgers, funny quote for women, greatest art hoax

Let us be thankful

for the fools.

Without them,

the rest of us could not succeed.

Mark Twain

Between work and family duty, days easily slip by without a hearty laugh. I drive carpool and find it incredulous that most days, teens are stumped by the question “Any jokes today?” April Fools is fun-tactic reminding us to enjoy being ridiculous! May we escape the fate of those who take life all too seriously.

While the author of Fifty Shades of Grey was still toddling in her diapers, Long Island housewife Penelope Ashe was an overnight sensation with her tawdry, sex-filled romance novel Naked Came the Stranger. Except she didn’t.

Naked Came the Stranger was the brainchild of Mike McGrady, a Newsday columnist who set out to hit the bestseller list with an intentionally horrible book. He asked 24 Newsday colleagues to write a chapter full of sex, bad writing, and bad writing about sex. With a bunch of smutty nonsense in hand, McGrady edited the book to make it even worse. Apparently bad was good enough for an independent publisher to pick up the book. McGrady got his sister-in-law to pretend to be Ms. Ashe and the book sold 20,000 copies before the hoax was revealed, They sold a hundred thousand copies sold in its first year and continues to sell to this day.

In 1962 before the advent of color TV, Sweden’s only television station announced that their “technical expert” was going to show people how they could get their black and white TV sets to show color. The expert claimed that research proves covering your television screen with a cut open pair of women’s stockings could alter the laws of physics and cause the light coming from the TV to appear in color.

Thousands of Swedish viewers fell for the hoax. Technology did catch up a few years later and Swedish TV actually did began broadcasting in color a few years later – on April 1, 1970.

Han van Meegeren was a small and dapper man, a Dutch artist of limited ability. His confidence made up for what he lacked in talent, successfully passing off his own paintings as newly discovered works by the renowned 17th century artist Jan Vermeer. He ran the greatest art hoax of the 20th century pocketing the equivalent of $30 million before he was unmasked.

Edward Dolnick, author of The Forger’s Spell, explains how Van Meegeren made a career of Vermeer.

Van Mergeeren may have been even more successful if he had a genius accomplice like the husband and wife team of Helene Balltracchi and Wolfgang Fischer. Helene came up with the fake history of a painting on the spot after a Christie’s expert asked her to explain the provenance of Girl with Swan, purportedly by Heinrich Campendonk. “I hadn’t planned anything,” she insists, “but my grandfather lived in Krefeld and so did the artist. So I could easily say they were connected.” To lend her account credibility, Wolfgang staged a black-and-white photograph of Helene impersonating her grandmother. Wearing a black dress and a strand of pearls, posed in front of several paintings from her grandparents’ collection. The photo was slightly out of focus, and printed on prewar developing paper. Hanging on the wall at left is a fake Fernand Léger and at far right is a phony Max Ernst.

Click on “Leave a Comment” top left to share how your life’s been richer as a fool.

xoxox

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Mom & Me & Mom

08 Mar 2018 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Glamour Portraits, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: Maya Angelou book, Mothers and Daughters, Women funny quote, Women's History Month

God made Adam first

because He didn’t want any advice

from Eve on how to make Adam.

Anonymous (who is usually a woman)

To celebrate Women’s HERstory month and International Women’s Day, I wish to express my gratitude to the village of women who blessed my life with a wide range of talents, courage, wisdom, laughter and relentless optimism. I think back on their constant love and generosity through pain and difficulty reading Maya Angelou’s autobiography, Mom & Me & Mom:

My mother’s gifts of courage to me were both large and small. The latter are woven so subtly into the fabric of my psyche that I can hardly distinguish where she stops and I begin. The large lessons are highlighted in my memory like Technicolor stars in a midnight sky. Her love and support encouraged me to dare to live my life with pizzazz, doing what I never knew I was capable of as a black woman: a conducturette, singer, dancer, broadway performer, poet, screenplay writer, author, movie director, teacher, speaker, etc.

I had thought that I was a writer who could teach. I found to my surprise that I was actually a teacher who could write. One day, an invitation to be a distinguished visiting professor at England’s University of Exeter stunned and thrilled me. I thanked the administration but said I couldn’t leave my mother who was gravely ill. When she heard I had rejected the invitation, she whispered “Go. Show them you spell your name W-O-M-A-N. I’ll be here when you get back!”

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share the story of your favorite woman.

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

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Iris, The Ageless

25 Feb 2018 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Fashion and Style, Iconic Women Tags: Bergdorf Goodman NYC, fashion book, fashion icon, Iris Apfel, NYC luxury shopping

Nothing makes a woman look old

as trying desperately

to look young.

Chanel

How do you get 750,000 Instagram followers without owning an email account? Iris Apfel explains that it’s really quite simple: have a devoted fan who knows how.

At 96, Iris makes no secret of her age, stays relevant to the times modeling for ads in fashion magazines, saying, “Young people today need direction. They have to learn to be themselves, to develop a sense of curiosity, and not to live vicariously through characters with no personality on social media.”

Like Iris, I believe that we owe it to our fellow (wo)men to dress better and look as pleasant as possible. None of this sweat pants and athleisure stuff! Let us feast our eyes on beauty and make the effort to look our best. She puts it succinctly, “If you want to lounge around, then don’t go out.” I can’t agree more! But before you think we sound like style tyrants, consider the democracy in her wisdom:

Express your individuality, don’t be a fashion victim and allow brands with their marketing power dictate your style sense. To make this world a better place, be as self-respecting and interesting as you can be. Cultivate potential from your own interests and talents by trial and error. Find out who you are, what works best for you and what to avoid. Nothing takes the place of experience.

Look out for her book Iris Apfel; Accidental Icon this March on Amazon and at Bergdorf Goodman NYC.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share whom you want to be when you grow up.

xoxox

Photos by Franco Vogt

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

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The Good Wives

10 Feb 2018 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Black and White Photography, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Marriage & Relationships, Unique Gift Ideas Tags: #metoo, Esther Perel, Fifty Shades of Gray, fine art nude, funny valentine quote, infidelity book, Motherhood, Parenting Teens, sex and affairs, valentines gift ideas

If love is the answer,

could you please

rephrase the question?

Lily Tomlin

When you’ve seen every hole and gnatty stain on each other’s favorite pajamas, how do you keep the romance going? Author and TED talk speaker Esther Perel insists on our agency, our vitality and our complicity in making the best out of our long term relationships. From her book The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity:

Infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So much so that it is the only sin that gets two commandments in the Bible, one for doing it and one just for thinking about it. Lovers today seek to bring under one roof desires that have forever had separate dwellings. Our expectations have gotten all out of hand. Our obsession with transparency, total disclosure and suffocating intimacy stanches desire — fire needs air!

All this before the stigma from choosing to stay in a compromised relationship?! Ayayay!

No better day than Valentine’s to practice compassion for villains and victims alike. They may not always be what they appear, for they are equal in the opportunity to use power to their advantage–overtly and otherwise. In the double standard of society, a man’s exposed dark side becomes a witch hunt for the woman who chooses to stand by him. And I don’t even want to know what price she’s had to pay long before we come around to shame her. Who’s the bully then?

When we focus on blame, we beg the question of what we lead ourselves (and teach our young) to believe. Can there really only be fifty shades of human behavior? Until we move to Mars, power and sex are tradable currencies and commodities on this planet. There is no shame in being a victim but there is also no dignity in incessantly playing the “Poor me, too!” card. There are gallant knights, ogres, wolves and monsters–sometimes all rolled into one person, at times not always male nor blatantly powerful, some more irresistible than others–lurking in the shadows of brightly lit offices, classrooms, cheerful houses, fancy restaurants and especially hotel rooms. The question “What would you say (or do) if someone you trust and respect takes advantage of you?” should be fair game at family gatherings.

Raised by parents who were both sole survivors of their families from Holocaust concentration camps, Dr. Perel learned to distinguish between two types of people: those who were alive and those who didn’t die. Her parents “understood the erotic as an antidote to death.”

There is no greater love than allowing people to choose what’s right for themselves–even between spouses. There is no greater love we can give ourselves than deciding to fashion a full and meaningful life despite difficult and unwanted experiences. That which we don’t allow to kill us, will buy us time to understand the gift it was meant to bring. If there is one true power that nobody can ever take away from us, it is our talent for alchemy: to take the darkness of pain, hurt and suffering and allow it to push us towards the light of strength, power, wisdom and goodness as we move forward with our lives. This power is the one true guarantee of fairness in the world that we can always count on.

With or without pajamas, best to leave expectations of seeing everything in black and white to photography.

Click on “Leave a Comment” to share how you keep the bedroom fire burning. True love IS always with you! Kiss! Kiss!

xoxox

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201 697 1947

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Sitting With Dignity

21 Jan 2018 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Birthday Celebration, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: corset lingerie glamour, Louboutin red sole heels, Meditation for women, peacock feather fan, self-care, women empowerment

If you can’t beat them,

arrange to

have them beaten.

George Carlin

This Powerful Goddess greatly inspires many, keeping her cool through life’s challenges with quiet strength and constant optimism. She embodies equanimity in her elegant stance, reminding me of this excerpt from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go, There You Are:

When you sit with strong intentionality, the body itself makes a statement of deep conviction and commitment in its carriage. A dignified sitting posture is itself an affirmation of freedom, and of life’s harmony, beauty and richness.

Even when you feel depressed, burdened, confused, sitting can affirm the strength and value of this life lived now. It can bring you in touch with the very core of your being, that domain which is beyond up or down, free or burdened, clearsighted or confused. This includes a deep knowing that whatever is present, whatever has happened to shake your life or overwhelm you, will of itself inevitably change, and for this reason alone, bears simply holding in the mirror of the present moment–watching it, embracing its presence, riding its waves of unfolding just as you ride the waves of your breath, having faith that you will sooner or later find a way to act, to come to terms, to move through it and beyond.

Happiest Birthday, O Powerful Goddess! This earth has been greatly blessed by your gracious beauty and light. Wondrous possibilities await you in 2018, your best year yet!

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how you keep your feathers unruffled.

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

of elegant and timeless portraits

with a Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people:

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

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Not Me Too

17 Oct 2017 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Glamour Portraits, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: #metoo, bestselling books for women, Byron Katie, Camille Paglia, empowerment, feminism, Kate Harding, Pema Chodron, Ryan Holiday, sexuality

You have the power of choice.

But your forfeit it when you imagine you can choose for others.

Choose for yourself.

Harry Browne

The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday

As a mother of both sons and a daughter, I wonder if the polarizing discussion on the rape culture most recently fanned by the “Me Too” movement on social media may be begging the question. There will always be different types of people in this world with a wide range of needs and motivations before considering hormonal influences and physical prowess, what starts out as fun can quickly devolve into something else entirely, individuals will behave differently as a group even before alcohol gets added to the mix, a grand slew of businesses will continue to amass wealth exploiting the sex, drugs and alcohol trifecta, our justice system will be forever slow and sometimes impotent, movies and the media profit from glorifying whoever can up their ratings while heroes, victims and villains will not always be how they appear. Regardless of who stands behind or in front of pointed fingers, how do we educate the young about their personal sphere of influence and responsibility for choices they make? How can both men and women enjoy their sexuality without resorting to force or blame? How do we keep our dignity in dealing with people and things beyond our control?

This blog is not the platform for a bottomless debate, so do click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) and share your favorite book that highlights the power of personal choice.

xoxox

Free Men, Free Women: Sex, Gender and Feminism by Camille Paglia

I Need Your Love–Is That True? by Byron Katie

Asking For It by Kate Harding

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

xoxox

Give the women you love the most unique gift

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with a Powerful Goddess Gift Certificate

for a two hour photo shoot of up to three people:

Managing Member, DoubleSmart LLC

201 697 1947

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Working From Home

02 Oct 2017 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: Amy Poehler quote, Maura Thomas book, Motherhood, work from home, working mom

The motto every woman should repeat

(in the age of “Lean In”?)

Good for her! Not for me.

Amy Pohler

The all American preoccupation with achievement makes the question “Do you work?” ubiquitous and I catch myself cringing even before I hear a stay-at-home mother reply with an apologetic “No,” grappling to enumerate what keeps her days busy.

While a mother may not get a paycheck for all the invisible work she does to keep hearth and home together, she most definitely works plenty both day and many sleepless nights! A mother’s work deserves proper recognition and respect–this is why I teach my sons that when the time comes, they must pay their wives if these women chooses to keep their careers on hold to raise their children. She is not a teen entitled only to an allowance. She should always have money she can call her own, not just access to a conjugal bank account audited by the spouse. When you marry a good woman, she is worth her weight in gold for the myriad services that simply gets chalked up to love. Enough! Even the cleaning lady who breezes through my house has the sense to demand more than triple the hourly minimum wage!

For those who are savvy enough to create meaningful work off their kitchen table, Kathleen Murray Harris shares How To Win At Working From Home (Real Simple, October 2017):

Stick to a schedule and dress up for official business. There will never be an end to the world’s demands of us so set work hours that include breaks and a designated stop time. “When you have a structure, you become more efficient,” says Julie Morgenstern, an organizing expert and the author of “Organizing from the Inside Out.” Chores you need done for the house or family must be pencilled in your calendar like any other work appointment or, better yet, delegate!

Make your work space inviting. Wireless makes working anywhere possible (and I constantly struggle with the call of the couch and bed!) Maintain an office space in a corner or separate room. Keep it tidy with minimal distractions. Turn off phones and social media on your computer background screen.

Get help. “Don’t kid yourself and think you don’t need a babysitter for young children if you’re working at home,” says Maura Thomas, a productivity expert and author of Work Without Walls. With the husband and kids who are old enough to understand, put a sign outside a closed door to let them know when “you’ll be back” and a whiteboard where they can write what they need to remember to bring up with you later.

Have an end of work day ritual. Without a commute to wind down and switch gears as career woman and mom/wife. create your own transitions routine: Check what you’ve accomplished on your To Do List and create a new one for the next day. Change clothes to change your mindset and take a brief walk to reconnect with nature, allowing the change of scenery to clear your head.

Now if only my teens would try these ideas out on their school work themselves. Sigh!

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your work from home success secrets.

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Coming Of Age

10 Sep 2017 1 Comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: Adulthood funny quote, black and white sillhouette, Eve's apple, Motherhood, Parenting Teens

Being an adult is mostly just

going to bed when you don’t want to

and also getting up when you don’t want to.

Happy Back to School Whew! Grateful to send two sons off to colleges (albeit in opposite directions) and now wondering how to sell a tighter driving radius to my daughter for her own university prospects. Not that I’ll insist she visits me often–though that can’t possibly be such a bad thing, no?

From Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift From The Sea:

Woman must come of age by herself. This is the essence of “coming of age”–to learn how to stand alone. She must learn not to depend on another, nor to feel she must prove her strength by competing with another. In the past, she has swung between these two opposite poles of dependent and competition, of Victorianism and Feminism. Both extremes throw her off balance, neither is the center, the true center of being a whole woman. She must become whole. She must, it seems to me, as a prelude to an “two solitudes” relationship, follow the advice of the poet to become “world to oneself for another’s sake.”

In fact, I wonder if both man and woman must not accomplish this heroic feat. Most not man also become world to himself? Must he not also expand the neglected sides of his personality, the art of inward looking that he has seldom had time for in his active outward-going life, the personal relationships which he has not had as much chance to enjoy, the so-called feminine qualities, aesthetic, emotional, cultural and spiritual, which he has been too rushed to fully develop. Perhaps both men and woman in America may hunger, in our material outward, active, masculine culture, for the supposedly feminine qualities of heart, mind and spirit–qualities which are actually nighter masculine not feminine, but simply human qualities that have been neglected. It is growth along these lines that will make us whole, and will enable the individual to become world to himself.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share how being a world unto yourself has meant for you.

xoxox

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Gifts From The Sea

02 Aug 2017 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Motherhood Tags: abstract nude, Best Birthday Gift for Women, Gift From The Sea Book, seashells, Travel and Leisure

One can collect

only a few seashells on the beach,

and they are more beautiful if they are few.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Travel and Leisure ranks 3 of the Philippines 8,000+ islands among the top 5 in all of Asia. Having had to live most of my adult years raising a family away from the turquoise seas, coconut trees and soft sandy beaches of my childhood, I keep memories of these far away pleasures alive with seashells around the house and in the studio, a handy prop for abstract studies in chiaroscuro.

In her classic, Gift From The Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh parallels her favorite shells with essays on the spirals of life, youth and age, relationships and marriage, solitude and contentment, commitment and creativity. This book is a true gift to be re-read and pondered at different stages in our lives. It opens:

I began these pages for myself, in order to think out my own particular pattern of living, my own individual balance of life, work and human relationships. But as I went on writing and talking with other women, young and old, with different lives and experiences – those who supported themselves, those who wished careers, those who were hard working housewives and mothers and those with more ease – I found that my point of view was not unique. Even those whose lives had appeared to be ticking imperturbably under their smiling clock-faces were often trying, like me, to evolve another rhythm with more creative pauses in it, more adjustment to their individual needs, new and more alive relationships to themselves as well as others.

Enjoy the rest of summer with these shells on landscapes that might as well be sand dunes. Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share your favorite gifts from the sea of life.

xoxox

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Best Beach Reads This Summer

25 Jun 2017 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, family vacation, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: Best Books for Women, best books summer 2017, best self help books, fiction for women

Why do men have an easier time

buying bathing suits?

They only have two options:

nerdy and not nerdy.

Rita Rudner

Surf and sand beckon, at last–but wait! Won’t a glorious tan bake more memorably with a riveting story? Add some of these to your beach bag or kindle:

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Who doesn’t fancy a glamorous life with seven chances to get marriage right?

The Salt House

by Lisa Duffy

If you like crying behind your sunglasses, a tale of grief, hope, and change.

Before We Were Yours

by Lisa Wingate

Inspired by a true story, two generations of two families are forever changed by an injustice.

The Weight Of Ink

by Rachel Kadish

A sophisticated work of historical fiction set in London from the 1660s to the early 21st century, about women separated by centuries, and the choices and sacrifices they must make in order to reconcile the life of the heart and mind.

Call Me By Your Name

Andre Aciman

To be released in theaters this year, this story is set on the Italian Riviera and reeks of summer where a teen discovers lust, love, and the aches of the heart when his family hosts a 24-year-old American scholar at their villa.

All The Lives I want

by Alana Massey

A collection of essays on pop culture figures who defined the author’s sense of self. Are you a Winona or a Gwyneth?

Startup

Doree Shafrir

Fun and breezy for milleneals who can’t unplug, is there an app to solve every problem?

The Destroyers

by Christopher Bollen

A thriller set under the Grecian sun, how far would you go when a wealthy friend’s kindness is bestowed with a few disturbing strings?

How To Be Everything

Emilie Wapnick

For those who continue to wonder what they want to be when they grow up, a feel good tome on creating a path based on your unique variety of interests and passions.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what’s in your beach bag this summer. May the sun shine wherever you go!

xoxox

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Best Books for Grads (and Teens)

21 May 2017 Leave a comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Bestselling Books, Glamour Portraits, Unique and Personalized Gift Ideas Tags: best books for teens, best gifts for grads, best graduation gift 2017

If you think you are too small

to be effective, you have never been

in bed with a mosquito.

Bette Reese

With June just around the corner, graduation has been on my mind–Tick Tock! I am sure my teen would rather get a sexy new car as his gift, but I’m equally certain our young men and women are much better served by the enduring wisdom imparted by those who have gone before them. May this collection of powerful books inspire and ignite a fire in their bellies to make their own dreams come true!

Getting There: A Book of Mentors by Gillian Zoe Segal. For those who have grown deaf to their own parents’ talk, this book distills pearls of wisdom from the inventor of Spanx to finance whiz, Bloomberg and good old Warren.

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. Why making a personal commitment to doing something hard at an early age grows our power to overcome hardships later in life.

The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter by Meg Jay. It’s never too early to plant seeds for your career and relationships early.

I Need Your Love–Is That True? by Byron Katie. How to deal with people who disappointment, frustrate, and anger you.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. Demystifying the genie of creation as something more accessible than we’ve been led to believe.

7 Habits for Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. Begin with the end in mind, eat your biggest frog first, seek to understand another point of view,… Steven Covey’s son translates his dad’s pillars of humanity for the younger set.

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. For a proper and enlightened understanding of female sexuality.

Free Women, Free Men by Camille Paglia. Straight talking and sharp shooting, Camille Paglia speaks of the kind of feminism that owns up to its power without hiding behind cries of victimhood. Real adult talk, at last!

The Four Agreements by Paolo Coelho. Even those who have sworn off reading can skim this short and sweet manifesto simplifying how to live in peace with each moment.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your life changing favorite(s)!

xoxox

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Phenomenal Woman

22 Mar 2017 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits, Women's Empowerment Tags: funny quote for women, inspiring poem for women, Kathy Griffin, Maya Angelou, Umbrella Men in suits, unique gifts for her

I have no filters,

no class, no poise,

no decorum.

Just fun!

Kathy Griffin

One of the most influential voices of our time, Maya Angelou led a fulfilling life to a ripe old age despite a traumatic setback very early in her childhood. She inspired many through her autobiographies, poetry, and work as a civil rights activist. From her collection published as And Still I Rise, this poem Phenomenal Woman reminds us that looks need not be our source of confidence:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,

They say they still can’t see.

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need for my care.

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your favorite poem that invites your inner powers to come out and play.

xoxox

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Best Books About Her Story

13 Mar 2017 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Best Movies for Women, Iconic Women, Womon's Health and Wellness Tags: best books for mom, funny quotes, New York Times Bestsellers, wives of famous men, women heroes, women memoirs

Behind every great man

is a woman

rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

In honor of Women’s History Month, these novels celebrate the women who didn’t quite make it to our history books as well as their husbands did. The stories are well researched, parallel real life events, and read like memoirs. Excellent gifts to pass on to your favorite women!

The Aviator’s Wife

How Anne Morrow Lindbergh, the dutiful wife and daughter who married aviation’s first hero, came to realize she had been the brave and fearless one all along

The Other Einstein

Not a great deal is known about Mileva Maric’s scientific contributions, since her husband, the genius Albert Einstein, was careful to relegate her to the shadows.

The Paris Wife

After reading Ernest Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast, author, Paula McLain, was moved to write about Hemingway’s little known first wife, Hadley Richardson.

Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald

Would you mind very much having your own work published under your husband’s name?

Loving Frank

Would you leave your children and devoted spouse for one great love?

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your favorite memoir or novel about a woman whose story needs to be told.

xoxox

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Key To The Labyrinth

05 Oct 2016 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Boudoir Photography, Glamour Portraits Tags: Ariadne Greek Myth, labyrinth, white lingerie, women wisdom

Getting lost is

just another way of saying

“Going exploring!”

Justina Chen

Excerpts from Sue Monk Kidd’s Dance of the Dissident Daughter:

When you’re in the middle of initiation, when your “old” womanhood is dying away, you may think you’ll be stuck in that dark place forever. You cannot see your way out. It is hard to keep moving, to put one foot in front of the other, because they are always landing on some new and unfamiliar ground, and half the time, that place is a swamp.

In a Greek myth, Ariadne gives Theseus a saving thread to drag into the labyrinth so he can find his way back out after he slays the Minotaur monster within. For a woman, the thread is the life cord that sustains you as you move through the spirals of life. Your Ariadne thread is the thread of your feminine Self.

We each have an inner destiny, one imprinted in the soul. Each of us also possesses a very goal directed energy that seeks to bring the seed of ourselves to fruition. It pulses inside use, trying to complete who we are uniquely meant to be. In science, this energy is called entelechy. This is the wise force that spins the Ariadne thread, wanting to take us toward our fulfillment as women. When you deny it or refuse to trust, refuse to pick up the thread, you feel lost, afraid, off center.

The way to find your thread again is to be still and remember who you are, to listen to your heart, your inner wisdom, as deeply as you can and then give yourself permission to follow it.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share who your best permission giver is.

xoxox

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Best Books for Couples

31 Aug 2016 2 Comments

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Glamour Portraits, Marriage & Relationships Tags: Best Books for Happy Marriage, Best Relationship Advice, Love and Sex

Women marry men

hoping they will change.

Men marry women hoping they will not.

Albert Einstein

Yes, there are plenty of fish out there! Yet bliss can be found with one–or with one at a time. 😉 Now, will someone please hand us some handy tools for navigating the dynamics of commitment? In celebration of the end of this fabulous summer, some book recommendations for healthy relationships by Huffington Post’s Dr. Nikki Martinez:

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Things get lost in translation when we are not aware that people speak different languages in the ways we give and want to receive love. How do you and your partner differ?

Couple Skills by Matthew Mackay. How can you communicate with compassion while coping with differences and resolving conflict?

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum. Should you stay or should you go?

The Relationship Cure by John Gottman. How do you strengthen relationships we tend to take for granted?

When The Past is Present by David Richo. How do you understand the different places where you and your spouse are coming from in navigating your relationship?

I Love You But I Don’t Trust You by Mira Kirshenbaum. Be it daily dishonesties or a monumental betrayal, how can you heal and build trust again?

Love, Sex and Staying Warm by Neil Rosenthal. How do you keep good old comfy relationships from going totally ho-hum?

47 Love Boosters for a Happy Marriage by Marko Petkovic. How do you connect and deepen your bond even when you’re both terribly busy?

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to add your favorite(s) to this list. And may you be happy with however many fish you have–or don’t!

xoxox

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My 7 Fave Books About Paris

26 Jun 2016 1 Comment

by Powerful Goddess Portraits by Sharon Birke of DoubleSmart LLC in Best Books for Women, Europe Travel, Paris Travel Tags: best books on Paris, French style, Parenting, Paris guide

America is my country

and

Paris is my hometown.

Gertrude Stein

“I don’t like reading!” must be the only chorus my two younger teens agree on. They usually bicker like cat and dog yet form a united front on the topic of books, stubbornly glueing their noses to the computer. If it’s any consolation for a mother, at least, their older brother in college actually values the occasional recommendation, discussing his insights and revelations when we talk on the phone. He says this may simply be a function of age and how the book resonates with his current life journey. I say one out of three kids is not a bad average, yes?

In honor of this blog’s favorite French fan’s birthday, here are stories set in Paris you’ll want to chill with on or off the beach this summer:

The Flaneur by Edmund White. Because meandering strolls with no particular destination is so very Parisian, observing the everyday theater on the city streets.

Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik (2001): What would it be like to raise children in Paris? An American writer shares his adventures starting a new career and family abroad.

Almost French by Sarah Turnbull. An Australian’s memoir of her giant leap, moving to Paris and marrying into a different culture.

The Paris Wife by Paula Mclain. Would you marry a struggling writer much younger than you? Could you be friendly with your husband’s mistress? A story told from the point of view of Hemingway’s first wife.

My Life in France by Julia Child. How did the student become the master? Julia tells of her move to Paris with her husband before she figured out what she wanted to do when she grows up.

The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George. A bookseller helps heal wounded hearts by prescribing the perfect story for them to read, eventually mending his own.

Lessons from Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott. shares her 20 style secrets learned while living in Paris.

Click on “Leave a Comment” (top left) to share what’s on your summer reading list. Stay cool and tres chic!

xoxox

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The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand

The Lost Family by Jenna Blum

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

Maeve in America: Essays by a Girl from Somewhere Else by Maeve Higgins

A Bite Sized History of France: Gastronomic Tales of Revolution, War, and Enlightenment by Stéphane Hénaut and Jeni Mitchell

Fly Girls: How Five Daring Women Defied All Odds and Made Aviation History by Keith O-Brien

The Dependents by Katharine Dion

Dreams of Falling by Karen White

Number One Chinese Restaurant by Lillian Li

Fight No More by Lydia Millet

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